furnoise 

a decease which causes the patient to encounter flashes of abstract visions. usually caused by creative frustrations or improper cutting of the toenails.

diagnosed with furnoise... Mr. Goober Wacker could barely make it up the stairs.

furnoise by vhat slaffer June 19, 2003

furnisexual 

Someone sexually oriented to the movable articles in a room or an establishment that make it fit for living or working.

I.e. a person who completely lacks sexual interest in anything human, much less alive. But, unlike someone or something that is asexual or simply of other orientations or fetishes that don't involve living or human targets, a furnisexual desires to and probably attempts to fuck chairs, tables etcetera.

The term is also thrown around by "normal" people for a cheap laugh or shock value.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to the new leather couch but I wasn't under the influence of any substances or attempting some pathetic form of masturbation. Mom. Dad. There's something I need to tell you. I'm a furnisexual."

"My rents are on their way home to bitch about all the shit I did this weekend. While I'm arguing with them I think I'll slip in a bullshit confession about being a furnisexual. I'm not sure if they'll be amused and it'll lighten the impact of the other stuff or if they'll put me in serious therapy and/or drug me up heavily but either way I win, right?"

furnisexual by Mebpitwe Istadamaus March 24, 2004

Furnisexual 

A person that is intimate and/or will have sex with furniture.

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about John? I heard he fucks chairs.

Person 2: Yeah, he must be a furnisexual.

Furnisexual by ElectricGuitarGuy June 20, 2011

Furnisexual 

A person who is sexually or romantically attracted to furnishings.

Despite his claims that he did not have sexual relations with that couch, everyone knows that deep down J.D. Vance is secretly a Furnisexual.

Furnisexual by PleaseWriteYourNameHere August 18, 2024