Skip to main content

High School Football Player

The high school football player is the epitome of awesomeness and swag all bottled into 1 walking shit for brains toolbag. In the high school food chain the football player is a cut above the rest when it comes to everything including raw athleticism, obvious swagger and straight-up toughness resulting in aquiring an abundance of girls who, by the laws of high school, are required to be with them. On the rare occurrance that said football player were team captain it emphasizes the previously stated attributes by nearly infinite. El Capitano is very aware of all of this and flaunts it harder than a $2 hooker on a saturday night at the club. Whether it is flooding social networking sites with pointless updates, wearing his jersey in a way similar to the way an SS officer wore his in the 1940s, and showing public displays of affection to his girl who really deserves someone much better, lets say for example the funny, sarcastic, intelligent, socially awkward, down-to-earth, alternate captain of the high school hockey team, who really understands her, the captain is a complete fuckface. But instead she is blinded by the astounding amount of toughness and idiocracy that he has to display to keep his high school reputation intact. However little does our self-centered wanna-be leader know that once he graduates high school he will count for nothing in society, most likely pump gas for a living, and can only think back on what a total dick and waste of life he was at 18 years old.
The high school footbal player runs his school.
Dude that high school football player is a complete fuck.
Words you can keep

penn state football player initiation 

an illegal act that an incoming penn state football player must go through in order to earn a roster spot. these acts include, but are not limited to, using and/or selling drugs, raping some drunk female, assaulting a female, dui, and so on. failure to commit an illegal act such as these ultimately results in that football player being thrown off the team.

penn state football is notorious for having the most unruly, misbehaved players. obviously they are not required to commit an illegal act to be on the team but because 93% of them have been arrested i just came up with the conclusion that
all the football players have to go through some sort of initiation.
guy 1: oh my god! isn't that our star freshman quarterback? why is he raping
that nun on top of a cop car with a bottle of bacardi in one hand and a crack
pipe in the other hand?

guy 2: hmm, must be his penn state football player initiation.

guy 1: oh ya, that's right. let's go sit on lawn chairs in front of JoePa's house and masturbate.

semi-pro football player

Not quite a professional football player. Semi pro football teams are made up of these fatties that used to play in high school, but have since let themselves go. On the field, they enjoy slamming their waists into one another with the secondary goal of moving a football shaped ball around. Off the field, they enjoy wearing extremely tight wife beaters that have the American Gladiators logo on them while wearing tiny shorts. They have to eat every thirty minutes, or they might lose weight, so they buy processed canned meats that smell terrible and snack away even at work.
When something funny is heard, the semi pro football player incorrectly repeats what he heard while laughing.
Semi pro football players enjoy company while using the bathroom, so if they spot someone of the same sex taking off his watch to go take a dump, the SPFP is almost sure to follow so that he can enjoy the flatulence of the co-dumper.
SPFPs also enjoy flinging crap around the bathroom stall, drawing a picture of it, and then telling everyone that "someone missed the seat in the bathroom." It is really the S.P.F.P. that did it, though, because it is hard to tell where the anus is when the buttocks has such a large surface area.
Ian: Is someone dragging a beached whale up the stairs?

X: AhhEEEE!! Thata sum loud thunderus nose in da stairwell

Josh: *opens stairwell door* Oh hey, guys! Sorry, I'm late. I had to "work out" because I'm a semi-pro football player.

National Christmas hat Football And Soccer player makeout day 

December 16, The day wear all christmas hat wearing football and soccer players must find a mate and makeout
Hey dude tomorrow is national christmas hat football and soccer player makeout day

football players 

1.guys who put on enough pads to usaully keep themselves alive play on professional teams and get paid alot of money,who still get injured

2.people who play football for fun with or without pads because we think its fun and we love the game,were not all jocks either
1.terrel owens went to play in the superbowl after breaking his ankle

2.me and my friends who play for the hell of it
football players by eric February 26, 2005

football players 

retarded assholes that think they have to be cool infront of each other by being loud annoying and rude. Making themselves live up to the football jock asshole stereotype.
Why is that Football Player such an asshole?
football players by Gracie February 12, 2004

c team football players 

gay little freshman boys that sing at the end of their games and swear they are only on c team cuz they are freshman
wtf are the c team football players doing
More from Urban Dictionary

God Shot 

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".
Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."
God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011
Word of the Day on September 18, 2026

city chicken 

A food native to Pittsburgh/Western Pennsylvania in which cubes of pork and/or veal are put on a short, wooden skewer, breaded, then baked and/or fried.

I've heard that city chicken originated during the Great Depression, when folks didn't have enough money to buy full cuts of meat, so they assembled meat scraps on a wooden skewer, creating a make-shift drumstick. Hence the name.
Are yinz havin' city chicken for dinner?
city chicken by TRF August 31, 2006
Word of the Day on September 17, 2026

Is that cake?

Another way to say is this fake? Like the show real or cake
“Slayyyter just announced another album last night”
“No way, is that cake?”
Yeah whoops this isn’t real”
Is that cake? by Sexyyred September 15, 2026
Word of the Day on September 16, 2026

just fokin missing her

native american reservation origin... to miss an ex so badly that everyone can see it.. can be used for either sex eg. just fokin missing her/him
friend : *noticably sad*
me : look at you all sad & shit
friend : shut up!
me : just fokin missing her huh?
Word of the Day on September 15, 2026

endwarfins

The rush of neurotransmitters and neuropeptides triggered specifically by watching the Seven Dwarfs march home singing "Heigh-Ho" — that particular high of pickaxes, whistling while you work, and communal domestic bliss in a cottage built for men half your height.
I only meant to watch the Heigh-Ho scene for the endwarfins, and then it was two hours later and I'd watched the whole movie.

Endwarfins aren't just a Snow White thing — I get the same hit off the Lollipop Guild in Oz.
endwarfins by Howard Ogden September 13, 2026
Word of the Day on September 14, 2026
A slang term used to describe a bald person, typically someone who is completely bald or has a closely shaved head. The term is derived from the infamous, hairless kids’ cartoon character of the same name.
Example 1:
“Did you see that caillou over there? His head is reflecting the sun like a disco ball.”
Example 2:
“I think Dave is finally accepting his hair loss. He just went full caillou and shaved the whole thing off.”
caillou by WMH01 September 12, 2026
Word of the Day on September 13, 2026

Brought-upsy 

scruples; to have manners;

May also be spelt Brought-upsie

WestIndian/Caribbean in orient - Barbados, WHUT.
Example 1: Child, you ain't got no brought-upsy?

Translation: My Child, have you not any manners?



Example 2: What, you ain't got no brought-upsy?

Translation: I can't believe you're doing that. Were you not taught any manners as a child?
Brought-upsy by B-Town Gilly April 20, 2005
Word of the Day on September 12, 2026
Next