When a douchebag translates (in their mind) someone's query as a greenlight to offer their negative opinion on a subject within the query, but not the main subject at hand, offering no help whatsoever.
"Hey everyone, Angie and I are thinking burgers tonight. Any suggestions on the best one or your favs?"
"OMG red meat's so bad for u. It's so fatty and stays in ur large intestines for years!"
"Thank you for the douchelation, but I'm asking what the best burgers in town are, not your opinion on red meat."
A unit of measurement for use with a douchometer in calculating the precise level of douchism a particular object or potentially douchebaggish person may exhibit. Part of the standard metric system, especially when used in places that use the metric system.
I can see you clearly through my douchometer, and you're registering at least 6500 Douchensteins.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.