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Dildometer 

A scientific instrument used to measeure dildons. Dildon is a derived term, like Newton, to represent dildoes per square foot.
Mr T: Whoa, I'm picking up 34 Dildons on my TI Super Dildometer!
Chuck Norris: Someone has alot of dildoes around here!!!
Your Mom: Oh, that's just me. ;-)
Dildometer by Shouter January 8, 2008
Urban Dictionary Merch

dildometer 

An abstract tool for measuring acts of douchitude on a subjective scale.
The "editors" of urbandictionary often break the dildometer scale when they reject my definitions for no good reason...including this one.
dildometer by BigEz April 8, 2010

Dildometer 

The dildometer is a device used to measure the velocity of any given dildo. i.e. the speed of a dildos movement when inserted into an orifice of the users choice.
Tom: What were your new dildo's ratings on the dildometer??
Jessica: My dildo was off the charts!! The dildometer read out the dildocity at an astonishing 100 dildons!
Tom: Wow! You gotta let me borrow that!
Dildometer by butt chug January 2, 2016

Dildometer 

A tool used to measure the ROP (rate of penetration) a given dildo can achieve during use.

Pronounced "dil-dah-mih-ter"
Mechanics got back with my bout that faulty dildo.. His dildometer indicated it had an extremely low ROP! Time fer a new dilly!
Dildometer by Multi-zone Completion December 12, 2010

dickometer 

A personal temperature gauge. Every male has one.
"I stuck my dickometer in that bitch to see how hot she was."
dickometer by angusvox April 26, 2009

dildometry 

the perfect science of being a complete and total tool...
what the fuck is this dildometry?!? what the hell are you idiots doing?!? jesus fucking christ!
dildometry by Ayhch February 12, 2010

Dildometrist 

N. A professional who creates and designs prescription dildos for a specific person.
I am going to make an order with the dildometrist.
Dildometrist by &*& August 3, 2016
More from Urban Dictionary

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
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