crusty surprise

The crusty part of one's bedsheets soiled with cum from a nocturnal emission or self-handjob. Dogs prize crusty surprises as delicacies, much as we prize lemon merangue pie, and will seek them out in the morning whilst their owners are showering. Not to be confused with the crusty pillow surprise, although there's no reason why a pillow couldn't have a crusty surprise.

Woman: Richard, come here.
Man: What?
Woman: It's your dog. What's he doing?
Man: Barney! What you lickin there?
Barney: really guilty look
Man: Look's like Barney found himself a Crusty Surprise.
Woman: That's disgusting.
Man: That's all right, Mr. B! That cookie's yours!

crusty surprise by Richard J December 14, 2008

crusty surprise

those flakes that are forgotten by the toilet paper and they itch (Poor Hygiene) Morbidly obese people are prone to this (they cant reach)

Logan's nurse came over to give him his sponge bath and exclaimed "You've done it again Logan You've left me a crusty surprise!"

crusty surprise by Flying dutchman July 2, 2015

crusty pillow surprise 

When you wake up in the morning with shit dried to your cheek because someone defecated on your pillow while you slept.

Betty gave Fred a crusty pillow surprise when he refused to sodomize her with a crucifix.

crusty pillow surprise by Timothy July 23, 2004