adj. A person who is pale and/or so fair skinned they would burn under a lightbulb.
You may be critically caucasion if, say, it’s beautiful outside, you want to enjoy the
day so you lather on the SPF, head outside for an a couple hours running errands/playing with your
kids/ a drive with the sunroof open.
The next
day you wake up in pain, it hurts to move, your
skin is so red and sore. You’ve got some weird tan lines and all you did was go outside yesterday!
Victim: “I got
the worst sunburn
yesterday. I applied sunscreen, stayed in the shade, wore a hat. I’m in so much pain...what did I miss?”
Friend: “Well, you're critically caucasion. So there’s that...”