Credit Union

A non-profit, member owned financial institution. Unlike banks, Credit Unions are not out to rip off their customers with a fee for every little thing they do.

Credit Unions usually have better rates on loans, savings accounts and CDs.

Greedy banks are out to squeeze every dime out they can from their customers and make obscene profits. They think Credit Unions have an unfair advantage because of their non-profit tax-exempt status. If banks were not so greedy and corrupt and treated their cutomers right, they would not need to fear competition!

After putting up with years of abuse from my bank, I switched to the local Community Credit Union. Now I have free checking, free atm card and a lot less hassle!

Credit Union by Charles_U_Farley September 11, 2010

Credit Union

A scheme to avoid paying taxes. CU members argue that they should be tax exempt because

1. They are member-owned. (Other member-owned coops pay taxes on non-disbursed earnings)
2. They can't issue stock. (Lots of companies--many LLCs, sole proprietorships, S Corporations, etc. -- do not issue stock but still pay income taxes.
3. CUs (allegedly) provide better service (tax exemptions are not awarded to companies that provide the best service).

Credit unions were originally tax exempt because they provided financial services to underserved markets. Today, however, credit unions compete directly against banks and should therefore pay taxes.

Credit Union by Jose Pendejo October 3, 2003

Credit Union Hair 

The haircut worn Canadian small town bank-tellers across that fine nation.

Just heading down to the stylist for fix my Credit Union Hair! Need to fit in!

Credit Union Hair by Bigmykale June 20, 2018

Sperm Credit Union 

A direct competitor to the for-profit Sperm Bank, the Sperm Credit Union is a co-operative sperm banking venture owned collectively by depositors, who are known as members. Through careful management and economy, it can pay a little more or charge a little less as it had no outside stockholders seeking profit at members' expense.

The same pattern held in other sectors where small, local credit unions had taken on large, greedy for-profit banks. Make a deposit in Blood Credit Union and they bleed you a little less aggressively than the corporate hacks at Blood Bank. Withdraw noodles from the local Food Credit Union and be able to repay a few noodles less than would be charged by a greedy, Wall Street Food Bank. And on it goes.

The principle is the same as any other mutual or co-operative society, such as Mutual Orgasm as an insurance provider or the Building Societies as mortgage lenders. By taking matters into their own hands, members collectively obtain a more satisfying outcome.

I was initially sceptical when that trollop Beth tried to seduce me into becoming a member. What, pray tell, is a Sperm Credit Union? This sounded like something out of the idealistic free-love Summer of '69 where the Sexual Revolution, fuelled by the Pill and not yet castrated by full-scale STD panic, led to massive orgies of excess where everyone belongs to everyone else. And these Annual General Meetings? They sounded like something out of a porn flick, Bukkake Gangbang part 666.

Then she sat me down and opened the books, reviewing the prospectus and the annual reports. The business model appeared sound; infertile couples pay to borrow members' DNA — both sperm and eggs — to build their families and secure their future. Members deposit their seed and earn interest. Much like a bank, every one of the hundreds of millions of sperm every day would be individually counted, frozen, accounted for and secured. Every one of them. Everything was strictly regulated and deposits nationally insured up to a limit of a half-million sperm. Compared to the shambolic wreckage of the rest of the US banking system, the Sperm Credit Union was fiscally-prudent and well managed.

Sperm Credit Union by bitchuck September 3, 2024

Resting Bitch Face Credit Union

RBFCU is a credit union based in San Antonio. Back around 2013, I noticed that RBF could stand for resting bitch face, and started spreading it the term. Today, most of the employees themselves have heard it. You're welcome, everybody!

I'm sure I'll get a better car loan out of Resting Bitch Face Credit Union
.

Resting Bitch Face Credit Union by James Headfield December 31, 2023