bitchuck's definitions

Sleazy PC

A clone of the IBM PC/XT manufactured in the mid-1980's by the (now-defunct) Zenith Radio Corporation. Branded as "Easy PC", these were marketed by the university to students because they were slightly cheaper than standard PC clones. Unfortunately, any cost advantage was more than made up for by their lack of expandability - making them an inferior product which quickly earned the "Sleazy PC" moniker.

Zenith Radio Corporation of Chicago went bankrupt (Chapter 11) in 1999, with whatever was left of the assets going to the Lucky Goldstar (LG) of Korea. Zenith's history goes back to the early days of ttelevision, where the slogan was unofficially "the junk goes in before tha name goes on". Zenith bought the (also now-defunct) Heathkit and made a brief foray into computing in the 1980's, which led to rubbish like the Sleazy PC.

by bitchuck October 22, 2023

drop the soap

An utterly hilarious Bob Rivers song parody of "Rock the Boat" (1973) by The Hues Corporation.

And no, it's all an urban legend. It's perfectly safe to drop the soap in the prison showers. It's just not safe to pick up the soap after... the jail showers are disgusting and you really don't want to know what's down there.

Ever since this prison term began
My tush has lived in fear of some big hairy man
And I'm nervous hanging out with these thugs and thieves
They're looking for a quiet place to corner me

I hope that I get out on probation
Before someone in that washroom gives me love deviation

So I'd like to know if
You get the notion
If I touch my toes will
You get the lotion
And I'd like to know when
You make a motion
And I'd like the guard to
Hear the commotion

Drop the soap
Don't drop the soap baby
Drop the soap
Not safe to bend over
Drop the soap
Don't tap my butt, bubba
Drop the soap...

by bitchuck October 22, 2023

kinky bum sex

When two homeless bums make the beast with two backs.

One homeless guy will slide his hard throbbing cock into another guys tight arsehole, then thrust in and out, getting harder and faster until he blows his load. One up the bum, no harm done.

In the afterglow of this kinky bum sex, one hobo will then ask "spare some change" and the other will invariably reply "get a job, you bum".

Not to be confused with kinky butt sex, which involves perverted sexual acts performed on chain smokers while they're puffing away, using the dying butt of one cigarette to light the next.

Unable to deal with the City's ongoing housing problems, our fearless municipal leaders have brought in marketers to promote homelessness as a valid lifestyle choice. They're not "homeless people", they're "people experiencing homelessness" and their lifestyle promoted as one of kinky bum sex as people experiencing homelessness will do anything to keep warm.

by bitchuck October 23, 2023

gangbang

Any wild orgy between Smurfsj.

Due to the lopsided gender ratio, any such gathering will inevitably become a gangbang.

According to the reference volume "Sex and the Single Smurfette": as a form of group sex, a Smurf orgy becomes inevitably a gangbang due to lopsided demographics. In the Smurf village there is only one Smurfette. There are seemingly unlimited numbers of male Smurfs, each of whom has blue balls. The only way to relieve all of these blue balls is for Smurfette to smurf every man or boy in the village, one by one, until everyone's smurfed out and too tired to continue.

by bitchuck November 25, 2023

+1

As a telephone number, +1 represents the North American Numbering Plan - which covers much of the English-speaking Caribbean as well as Canada, the US and its possessions. It's much like the "+1" concept in event invitations - you want to invite Canada, but they won't come unless you let them bring their loud, obnoxious neighbor as a "+1".

Life was so much simpler before the phone companies found computers. Instead of singing "PEnnsylvania 6-5000" all of the musicians stand up and call out "[phone]" now? Where's the tradition in that?

by bitchuck September 23, 2023

table dance

In sex work, a table dance is a form of striptease in which a stripper focuses their attention on one client or john. Unlike a lap dance (or, euphemistically, a "VIP dance") there is no physical contact between the sex worker and the client.

My buddies got drunk at the strip joint and started dancing on tables. The hired-thug bouncers explained very rudely to them that is is not what they meant by advertising a "table dance" on offer for an exorbitant fee.

by bitchuck September 23, 2023

Sticky Vicky

A "vaginal magic show" as a live performance which involved a magician pulling various objects out of her vagina on-stage. Originally created in Valencia, Spain by illusionist Victoria María Aragüés Gadea (b. 15 April 1943, active 1980–2015 with stage name Vicky Leyton aka Sticky Vicky).

Her daughter continued the illusion after her retirement.

Victoria's Secret? The sheer number of bizarre objects hidden in her vagina. Sticky Vicky and her secretions have engorged everything from ping-pong balls, eggs, handkerchiefs, sausages, razor blades, machetes and a lit lightbulb to a bottle of beer. Bottoms up!

Bring your bachelor party to the show and the poor bridegroom will be dragged on stage and left so scarred for life that he never dare look at another vagina.

by bitchuck September 24, 2023