Skip to main content

Commandant Spangler

Played by Daniel von Bargen, he is the strict and ruthless commandant at Marlin Academy in the TV sitcom Malcolm In The Middle. He has only 1 eye, 1 hand (later 0 because Francis accidentally chops off his remaining one), and is paralyzed in his right leg.
Eric: (to Francis) "Commandant Spangler is gonna kill you when he sees this."
Commandant Spangler by daddyjenkins February 24, 2022
Commandant Spangler mug front
Get the Commandant Spangler mug.
See more merch

Lance Commandant 

A Lance Corporal in the USMC who abuses his power by making Privates and Private First Classes do dumb shit. A Lance Commandant is usually overly strict, and just an asshole that hates life and takes out his frustration on others below him. He thinks he is better than the rest of the junior enlisted just because he has been in the USMC for a few more months.
"Wow, one guy is one minute late to the fifteen prior for our accountability formation at 5:00am, so Lance Commandant is making us all pick up every single shell on the beach as a punishment, because apparently it's our fault the marine is slow as hell."
Lance Commandant by Kreator89 February 6, 2010

In-Commandant 

Military Officer not having or showing the necessary skills to do their job successfully, yet promoted to rank of Commandant.
synonyms: inept, unskilled, amateurish, unprofessional, lacking ability, bungling, blundering, bag of ham, clumsy, inadequate, substandard, inferior, ineffective, deficient, inefficient, ineffectual, no good, not good enough, wanting, lacking, leaving much to be desired; incapable, unfit, unsuitable, unqualified, pathetic, cack-handed, ham-fisted, not up to it, a dead loss, not up to scratch, not know one's arse from one's elbow, couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery
If you keep breathing, you too will eventually become In-Commandant. Keep breathing!
In-Commandant by F1abg9! November 16, 2018

herr commandant 

term of endearment for lunch engineers
herr commandant by Anonymous February 6, 2003

Ghetto Commandments 

Made popular by T-Pain's Freaknik musical special. 10 commandments that gangstas must live by. The commandments are as follows

1. If thou art a bitch ass nigga, thou shall not breath.
2. Puff Puff Giveth.
3. Thou shall not loveth thy hoe.
4. Thou shall not Knocketh thy hustle.
5. Real shalt recognize real.
6. Thou shall not pop bottles on models.
7. It's no fun if the homies Getteth none.
8. Never covet thy neighbors hoe.
9. Thou shall not snitch.
10. FUCKETH the police.
Break any of the Ghetto Commandments and Trap Jesus will smite thee

Text Commandments 

1) If thou receives a text that has been replied from a text that he or she sent an hour or more ago, thou is not obligated to reply.
2)Thou shalt not text asking a friend for someone else's number.
3) If you send a text, and the receiver does not reply after a long period of time, thou is not supposed to send another text.
4)Thou shalt not use text to talk unholy smack to another human being over the phone, only to act like it never happened the next day
5)If thou receives a long text from a friend or associate thou is not supposed to reply with just a "Lol","K" or "Oh"
6)If thou receives a text from the wrong number, thou should not be rude about the sender using the wrong number, but politely tell them they have the wrong number
7)If the sender insist that they have the right number, thou will receive the right to tell them off rudely.
8)If thou receives a text from an ex's friend saying that they're going to kick your ass, thou must stand firm against the offender and challenge him/her to a duel.
9)If thou is in a textual argument with another, thou will not make a friend/family member text/call the opponent because thou is to much of a pussy.
10)Thou shalt NEVER break up with and or get together with another human being over the phone.
Richard's life was in ruin because he did not follow the Text Commandments
Text Commandments by Mocoholi October 19, 2010

Ten Crack Commandments 

Notorious B.I.G.'s Ten Crack Commandments in plain English

1) Don't let anyone know how much money you have. It'll make people jealous and want to steal it from you.

2) Don't let anyone know what you're doing next. People will use this knowledge to rob you and hurt you.

3) Don't trust anyone. Even your mother would betray you for the money that'll be in it.

4) Don't take your own crack.

5) Don't sell crack around the area you live in, not even if it's the biggest crack order known to man - it's not worth it.

6) Don't give credit. A crackhead will NEVER pay you back.

7) Keep your family and business completely separate.

8) Don't carry crack on you. You will almost definitely get robbed if you don't follow this commandment.

9) Stay away from the police at all times. If people think you're a snitch then they won't listen to your excuses and it will not only destroy your business but people will probably try to kill you.

10) If you don't have people to sell your crack to in the first place, don't buy any to sell on. Your suppliers won't care whether you sell it or not, they'll take their money from you.
See Ten Crack Commandments - Notorious B.I.G.