Buttfucked in the Face
(p.t. v): One's own acknowledgement of a soul-crushing embarrassing moment of being humiliated by people of stature; family members, bosses, colleagues, and friends.
Nick (consoling Bill as he is hunched down and crying): Hey, Bill. I saw what happened. It's not that bad. I mean, just go home, sleep on it and tomorrow is another day, man.
Bill (wiping the tears off his face as he looks back at Nick): Nick, you don't understand. I was in the middle of the biggest proposal of my life. Then, just before asking Amy for my hand in marriage in front of her family, my family, friends, co-workers, my fuckin' boss, I bend down with the ring in my hand to ask Amy, the love of my life, for her hand in marriage, and sharted. Everyone was silent for a brief moment, then they all started laughing. Then they were pointing at me. Then they were mimicking me bending down and sharting. Nick, I felt like I got Buttfucked in the Face.
Nick: Bill, if it makes you feel any better...I fucked Amy last night. She's a whore.
Bill (wiping the tears off his face as he looks back at Nick): Nick, you don't understand. I was in the middle of the biggest proposal of my life. Then, just before asking Amy for my hand in marriage in front of her family, my family, friends, co-workers, my fuckin' boss, I bend down with the ring in my hand to ask Amy, the love of my life, for her hand in marriage, and sharted. Everyone was silent for a brief moment, then they all started laughing. Then they were pointing at me. Then they were mimicking me bending down and sharting. Nick, I felt like I got Buttfucked in the Face.
Nick: Bill, if it makes you feel any better...I fucked Amy last night. She's a whore.
Buttfucked in the Face by Studs Lonigan III April 17, 2026
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