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Bedtime Story 

The act of pulling out the porn just before sleeping and having a wank before passing out asleep. A common practice amongst teenage boys, as well as self-proclaimed celibates.
Man - "So what did you get up to last night ?"

Colleague - "Not much, just watched tv and read myself a bedtime story"
Bedtime Story by Ngoc8r February 12, 2007

Bedtime story 

When you cover your dick with peanut better and jelly mixed together and let your dog lick it off.
When you break out the jar of peanut butter mixed with jelly and get a bedtime story and let your dog lick it off.
Bedtime story by Lotsolols June 7, 2018

Bedtime Story 

An unexpected reception of a sexual act from another person at night, in one's bed.
Shawn thought Sara had gone home, but she returned to give him a bedtime story
Bedtime Story by Vpdotcom March 28, 2009

Reading Grandma A Bedtime Story 

Well I gotta go read grandma a bedtime story.

Reading Grandma A Bedtime Story 

To masturbate while eating out old women-also known as playing Counter Strike.
Man, go read grandma a bed time story.

adult bedtime story

Adult version of a bedtime story, meant to help get a good night sleep.
A: Let's read an adult bedtime story tonight shall we?

B: Sure.

A: A long time ago, in a swamp far far away, there lived a lonely ogre. Then one day... Zzz...zzz...
More from Urban Dictionary

piddlefart

verb. To waste time doing nothing.
Instead of doing my homework, I decided to piddlefart around for two hours.
piddlefart by Rene April 25, 2005
Word of the Day on October 9, 2026
anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
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