baternity leave 

Noun, the name given to conventional paternity leave which is seamlessly bolted on to a period of sick leave.

Graham, "what a tosser Seb is, he's meant to be working on that project but he's gone on baternity leave," Colin, "yeah, amazing, he caught that bug just in time to get a straight five weeks off; fucking planned it I think."

baternity leave by Grandsire May 4, 2020

Caternity Leave 

When one acquires a new kitten or cat and must have paid or unpaid leave from work to revel in all it's feline glory. Similar to maternity or paternity leave.

Andrea just got a new kitten from the pound. All she wants to do is stay home, take pictures and feed him Temptations, so she went on Caternity Leave.

Caternity Leave by AdotWdotB January 2, 2017

maternity leave 

A period of time where the woman takes advantage of the fact that shes a woman and gets paid for not showing up to work. Don't ask why, or else risk being branded as woman hater by feminists.

RationalDude: Maternity leave is basically a paid vacation, thats why its controversial.

Feminist: What? You have something against maternity leave? You must be RACIST...I mean uh SEXIST! You hate women! You're a rapist! You beat your wife every night don't you?

RationalDude: I don't hate women and I'm not married yet...

Feminist: DOWN WITH MEN!!

RationalDude: *shakes head* whatever

maternity leave by zedude May 2, 2009

Caternity leave 

Leave of absence when you get a new cat or kitten.

I'm out for the next 6 weeks for caternity leave. It's important bonding time when you first get a cat!

Caternity leave by Bikosmom May 18, 2017

Faternity leave

A period of maternity leave, unexpected by friends and co-workers as nobody knew the Mother to be was expecting, due to her already substantial build.

Where's Kate been these past few weeks, Dave?

She's on faternity leave with the bairn.

I didn't even know she was pregnant...She was already a big girl though.

Aye, fraternity leave, right enough.

Faternity leave by Bayesoir December 31, 2019

Maternity Leave 

a period of absence from work granted to people for paid leave.

"Maternity Leave?" *looks under table* "But you're all males!"

Maternity Leave by Wither24 July 19, 2022