Lardon

The erect phallus of an overweight male.

That Dan, he might be a bit of a fat get, but let me tell you, he's got a reyt lardon...

by Bayesoir December 31, 2019

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Epic shithousery

When a bellend behaves like a high level shithouse.

Famed examples of this include Sergio Ramos's foul on Mo Salah in the 2018 Champions League Final, the Leave campaign's claim that monies saved from EU membership would be reinvested into the NHS and Donald Trump's refusal to accept defeat in the recent US election.

Did you see that twat try and claim complete credit for our work earlier?

Yeah, lad. Epic shithousery of the highest order, that...

by Bayesoir December 08, 2020

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Fatigue

An extreme post exercise tiredness encountered by obese, fat bastards.

Big Dan looked fucked earlier, didn't he?

Yeah, he'd been the gym.

Oh, bit of the auld fatigue, in't eet.

by Bayesoir October 31, 2020

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Corish cruncher

The annoying lunchtime practices of a beige civil servant type (see Corish cunt) who due to his apparent diligence and hard working nature eats his lunch loudly at his desk.

Have you heard the noise that cunt, John makes when he's eating his dinner?

Yeah, he's a proper fucking Corish cruncher, that lad.

by Bayesoir January 02, 2020

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Fatistuta

A rotund man in their mid 30s who plays 5 a side football.

A fatistuta “used to have it” but has “lost a yard”.

and carries weight that he did not in his glory days. In spite of this, he still showcases an admirable level of skill

Often seen with a purple fiorentina shirt, snug to the middle region and declaring “he’s still got it, lad has..." after scoring a tap in from 5 yards. This is known as a 'Fatigol'.

"He's a decent player, at least he used to be. He's become a bit of a Fatistuta these days..."

by Bayesoir December 31, 2019

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