Definitions by Grandsire

Chalice 

Noun: cautionary descriptive term for a very desirable, attractive, sexy woman with more than a hint of dangerous allure and mystery about her, but with regrettable and unmistakable chav tendencies.

Steve, "I sort of pulled last night, but it's just a one off." Jon, "how's so?" Steve, "well there was this smoking hot fit girl in here last night, and we kinda got it on. She took me back to her place which was a static caravan behind the estate, but on the way there she stopped for a piss between two dumpsters. She squatted, pulled over her Burberry thong, revealing a wizard sleeve big enough for twins, wazzed all over the place and then insisted on some fried chicken." Jon, "she sounds proper class mate," Steve, "yeah I had a good time but didn't go meat to meat. Jon, "wise move" Steve, "yeah gotta be careful, she's a proper chalice."

Chalice by Grandsire July 23, 2023

baternity leave 

Noun, the name given to conventional paternity leave which is seamlessly bolted on to a period of sick leave.

Graham, "what a tosser Seb is, he's meant to be working on that project but he's gone on baternity leave," Colin, "yeah, amazing, he caught that bug just in time to get a straight five weeks off; fucking planned it I think."

baternity leave by Grandsire May 4, 2020

borona 

Noun, the name given to that first, very welcome beer after a period of abstinence (typically owing to illness) which is ruined by being stuck at the bar with some boring cunt

Greg, "I had just got out of hospital and was having my first beer, but fuck me Carlo was there and came over." Matt, "you poor cunt, he's so dull, you must have thought why me? I don't deserve a borona!" Greg, "too right, I wished I'd died and never made it to the bar."

borona by Grandsire May 4, 2020

Shitting rainbows and unicorns

What a female does the following morning after indulging in unprotected anal sex with a gay man who, typically, is highly desirable to both men and women, making the term one of begrudging admiration.

Lexi "Did you see Candy last night, she's such a sexy slut; she even trapped Todd?" Eva, "you mean Todd, the gay barman with the body to die for? Wow, I guess she"ll be shitting rainbows and unicorns this morning; bitch".

Shitting rainbows and unicorns by Grandsire July 31, 2019

W.I.C.A.R.D Brief 

Whiskey Inspired Casually Aggressive Relatively Drunken Brief. The inspirational status brought on by sufficient quantities of whiskey, prior to or with complete disregard for the whiskey barrier whereby anything seems possible and wisdom is imparted by the inspired individual and shared via social media.

Mark, "I'm posting Boogie's W.I.C.A.R.D Brief on Instagram he more or less went like this: 'fellas I'm going to be even more pissed tomorrow so I'm saying now good luck in the match tomorrow, smash cunts! Fuck, hurt bastards. Cunt! Smash' - fucking awesome!"

W.I.C.A.R.D Brief by Grandsire November 18, 2018

Whiskey Barrier

Noun, the phenomenon where the drinker (typically of whiskey) crosses the line between amiable drunkeness and becomes a miserable fucking cunt.

Or

The name given to the metaphorical chastity belt imposed by a normally sexually generous woman in response to outrageously drunken conduct.

Mark, "I got so cunted last night I crossed the whiskey barrier and became so fucking depressed I could have cut my own head off if I was not so uncoordinated."

Or

Barry, "I'll just have just the one tonight, I am feeling fucking horny and I don't want the missus to drop the whiskey barrier like last time."

Whiskey Barrier by Grandsire November 18, 2018

Final Present 

Term applied to the sexual gratification given by one person to their partner on a special occasion.

Co-worker, "how was your birthday yesterday?" Colleague, "awesome thanks, the missus gave me a treat, after pleasuring herself as she watched me take her hot girlfriend up the arse, she then finished me off with her mouth, a great final present!"

Final Present by Grandsire November 16, 2018