wank

1. to masturbate

2. a term to describe something of substandard quality

3. a term to describe a situation which stirs deep disappointment and contempt

1. 'where's Emrys?' 'Emrys is having a wank in his car. It is lunch time after all.'

2. 'What happened to the bike you got two months ago?' 'It was wank, I took it back. the gears came off.'

3. I worked late for for 3 weeks and did not get any overtime, or even a thank you. The whole thing is wank mate.

by plastictwatmuncher June 23, 2012

wank

predominantely British term for masturbation

Buffing the Banana
Holding Your Sausage Hostage
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Rounding up the Tadpoles
Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ
Spank the Frank
Applying the hand brake
Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
Auditioning the finger puppets
Beef-stroke-it-off
Boxing the bald champ
Charming the snake
Checking for testicular cancer
Choking Kojak
Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie
Straddle your paddle
Taking matters into your own hands
Teasing the weasel
Thumping the pump
Tickling the pickle
etc etc

by Master Bates March 23, 2003

Wank

1. A slang term for masturbation that originated in Britain.
2. A word that describes something that is very poor/terrible.

1)

A: "I heard Jake broke up with Charlotte"
B: "Yeah, he's probably at home, wanking"

2)

A: "Did you see that film?"
B: "Yeah, it sucked. Utter wank."

by EvilFruitPie May 16, 2011

wank

The act of self masturbation (verb)

Hey John, wanna go catch a beer?
No, I think I'm just going to go home and have a wank.

by terriblequiche August 10, 2006

wank

the voice inside someones head that tells them to do and say unexplainable things.

he is similar to an infection, anyone can get sick with him, but once he is there he never leaves.

Simon - “why did you do that”

Tom - “it wasnt me it was wank”

by prouddaddyof3 April 27, 2023

wank

A colloquial reference to male masturbation.

Although E. M. Forster enjoyed Virginia Woolf's company, he'd often wish she'd shut up and leave so he could enjoy a rollicking good wank in the gazeebo.

by Reginald Whattabone October 6, 2003

Wank

Art of jacking off the man meat, giving it a good wholesome rub, massage, squeeze and jerk until you spray your hot sticky man juices over a face, into a mouth, over yourself, your hands, your abs, your pecs, the floor, the walls, and in your car, bedroom, bathroom, shower, bed, garden, and naked or in your jocks, jeans, suit trousers, or speedos.

Bro, you're such a filthy bastard man, taking a wank in your business suit.

by Wind blower July 1, 2016