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an expression used when asking time off from work to cover yourself for two days, not today, because you are going to get so wasted, you'll be straddling the fence.
Worker : hey boss, can i have off twoday?

Boss: do you mean today?

did you spill some dumbass on yourself

Worker: no twoday because i'm gonna get so wasted, i'll need two days to cover me.
twoday by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009
Words you can keep
The Twoday, when its exactly 2/22 and its Tuesday then its called "Twoday" instead of Tuesday. The next year it wont be Tuesday it maybe Friday. This event happens every 200 years. Its a special day in earth so you must celebrate the Twoday!
Oh my gosh today is the Twoday!
Twoday by Ratioguy8989 February 22, 2022

It feels really good to be alive today!!! 

Philosophical statement made when you put life in perspective, you acknowledge that you are truly blessed, you are truly lucky, and you have all but great things ahead of you.
Hypothetical: You are surrounded by all your friends, it's your birthday, you are having a great time, before you take a shot, you reminisce....

E: It feels really good to be alive today!!!

Today’s Mass Shooting 

A term now commonly used to refer to a particular mass shooting in the United States since there is another one occurring every day.
Today’s Mass Shooting” works well for our newspaper; we just keep recycling this term with each subsequent mass shooting.

Zero Twosday

A weekly holiday that celebrates Zero Two, one of the best and most amazing girls in anime.
Uncultured swine: "Hey today is Tuesday isn't it?"
Me, an intellectual: "Incorrect you imbecile, for today is Zero Twosday!"

No day but today 

A chant made by the HIV+ characters during "Life Support" in the Musical Rent. This cry means to live each day as if it were your last. Most of the characters that come across this song do not have much time to live, so the only thing they can do is (not jump over the moon you rentheads) live each day one at a time, and never look back. Used in "Life Support", "Another Day", misc. exerpts in the musical, and "Finale B".
"I live each moment as my last
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road,
No other way
No day but today."
-Another Day, sung by Mimi Marquez.
No day but today by kydie November 28, 2005

Today you, tomorrow me

From the spanish "hoy por tí, mañana por yo", it is used to "justify"acts of kindness toward strangers.
Thanks for helping me with my flat tire. Please accept this $50 as a token of my gratitude.
No need. Today you, tomorrow me
More from Urban Dictionary

board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026

young pup 

a young person, a young adult in their late teens/early 20s.
Ah, you're just a young pup at 23!
young pup by the dog May 30, 2006
Word of the Day on August 25, 2026
West Midlands slang word for rockers, bikers, greasers etc. In the late 1980s it was used by the UK music press to refer to a specific scene centered around the bands Pop Will Eat Itself and Crazyhead. The term never found favour with readers of 'the inkies' (Sounds, Melody Maker and the still extant NME) and was soon dropped. Now often used in predominantly working-class areas of the midlands and the north to mean someone who listens to rock-derived music and/or dresses in a manner that suggests they affiliate themselves with rock music of some kind.
Some grebo passed with Sabbath playing on his stereo.
The Poppies are at no. 17? God, a grebo band in the charts!
They're playing nu-metal now, bloody grebos!
grebo by cactuscat September 15, 2006
Word of the Day on August 24, 2026

TikTok Farlands

TikTok Farlands is a term to refer to videos that you see after scrolling for a long time. These videos can potentially be disturbing, or weird. Said videos can also have low likes, or low comments.
“I reached the TikTok Farlands bro
Word of the Day on August 23, 2026

mormon assault vehicle

another term for a station wagon, mini-van, or any other kind of vehicle that is targeted at the "family" demographic(also M.A.V.)
"Tactical advantages aside, the M.A.V. is top of the line for the holy warrior troop transport manufactured by the Church of Latter Day Saints Military Industrial Complex. Also great for family trips...to heathen lands."
mormon assault vehicle by KVRX January 10, 2005
Word of the Day on August 22, 2026
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