twoday

an expression used when asking time off from work to cover yourself for two days, not today, because you are going to get so wasted, you'll be straddling the fence.

Worker : hey boss, can i have off twoday?

Boss: do you mean today?

did you spill some dumbass on yourself

Worker: no twoday because i'm gonna get so wasted, i'll need two days to cover me.

twoday by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009

Twoday

The Twoday, when its exactly 2/22 and its Tuesday then its called "Twoday" instead of Tuesday. The next year it wont be Tuesday it maybe Friday. This event happens every 200 years. Its a special day in earth so you must celebrate the Twoday!

Oh my gosh today is the Twoday!

Twoday by Ratioguy8989 February 22, 2022

It feels really good to be alive today!!! 

Philosophical statement made when you put life in perspective, you acknowledge that you are truly blessed, you are truly lucky, and you have all but great things ahead of you.

Hypothetical: You are surrounded by all your friends, it's your birthday, you are having a great time, before you take a shot, you reminisce....

E: It feels really good to be alive today!!!

It feels really good to be alive today!!! by guaymas February 14, 2012

Today’s Mass Shooting 

A term now commonly used to refer to a particular mass shooting in the United States since there is another one occurring every day.

“Today’s Mass Shooting” works well for our newspaper; we just keep recycling this term with each subsequent mass shooting.

Today’s Mass Shooting by Dr Bunnygirl August 3, 2019

Zero Twosday

A weekly holiday that celebrates Zero Two, one of the best and most amazing girls in anime.

Uncultured swine: "Hey today is Tuesday isn't it?"
Me, an intellectual: "Incorrect you imbecile, for today is Zero Twosday!"

Zero Twosday by MathVideoGamesSoccerOLEINDIA July 30, 2019

No day but today 

A chant made by the HIV+ characters during "Life Support" in the Musical Rent. This cry means to live each day as if it were your last. Most of the characters that come across this song do not have much time to live, so the only thing they can do is (not jump over the moon you rentheads) live each day one at a time, and never look back. Used in "Life Support", "Another Day", misc. exerpts in the musical, and "Finale B".

"I live each moment as my last
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road,
No other way
No day but today."
-Another Day, sung by Mimi Marquez.

No day but today by kydie November 28, 2005

Today you, tomorrow me

From the spanish "hoy por tí, mañana por yo", it is used to "justify"acts of kindness toward strangers.

Thanks for helping me with my flat tire. Please accept this $50 as a token of my gratitude.
No need. Today you, tomorrow me

Today you, tomorrow me by Rahxephon000 December 22, 2010