Twenty-nine palms 

Ask a room full of people how many have wanted to try some crack, for a show of hands. If there are 600 people in the room and 29 of them thought about it, you will see twenty-nine palms.

Got a turnout of twenty-nine palms on crack use last night, usually I get about three, four out of 600.

Twenty-nine palms by Solid Mantis November 18, 2016

Twentynine Palms 

A place in the middle of nowhere California full of nothing but Marines, crackheads, Asians and desert rats (also known as 'Cougars,' 'Desert Yetis' and 'That bitch that gave me the clap.' Generally avoided by anyone that has any semblence of a life, and loathed by most that live there. Often subjected to high winds which will hopefully cover it in sand one day.
See also: 29 Palms

Person 1: "What the hell is that smell?"
Person 2: "That's just Twentynine Palms."

Twentynine Palms by Brian Hick May 22, 2008

Twentynine Palms 

A place in the middle of nowhere California full of nothing but Marines, crackheads, Asians and desert rats (also known as 'Cougars,' 'Desert Yetis' and 'That bitch that gave me the clap.' Generally avoided by anyone that has any semblence of a life, and loathed by most that live there. Often subjected to high winds which will hopefully cover it in sand one day.
See also: 29 Palms

Person 1: "What the hell is that smell?"
Person 2: "That's just Twentynine Palms."

Twentynine Palms by Brian Hick May 21, 2008

Twentynine Palms 

After shooting ended the entire cast of “Hill With Eyes” relocated to a sink in the desert now known as Twentynine Palms”. When they first arrived there were indeed exactly 29 palms lining the trickle of water coming from the Oasis of Mara. Through the years these radioactive people were joined by outcast spouses from a U.S. Marine training base that was located nearby. Many of these wives were Vietnamese - all of whom became barbers or nail polishers. The other cast-off wives were all Thai, and they all opened massage shops and restaurants. Blowjobs for a fee were rumored to be prevalent. Now the future looks dim. Fewer punters are passing through, and some sharp cookies discovered the big acquifer out near Amboy (Cadiz) and began pumping millions of gallons of water, hopefully to sell to overdeveloped Orange County. Unfortunately, these sharp cookies could never get a right-of-way for pipes, and trucking the water made no sense. So the sharp cookies planted and watered endless lime groves in the desert, the springs dried up for miles around, and the bunnies and coyotes dried up and vanished. Now the “Hills Have Eyes” cast has brought about a whole new generation of retrogrades, and they, along with countless massusesand barbers are wandering the desert seeking a new home.

Avoid Twentynine Palms like the plague

Twentynine Palms by Slicknquick August 1, 2018

Twentynine palms (29) 

A place that has 70% Marines 20% crack heads and 10% civilians in which everywhere within a 1 mile radius has a barber shop at every turn. While on base if you don’t smell the winds of shit from lake bandini going all across base are you really in twentynine? Doing a CFT at del Val while breathing in the freedom of shit water is a must. Oh I can’t forget to mention that the POWER GOES OUT almost every day and will turn on 5 or 6 times for 30 seconds just to mess with you. I mean come on even on thanksgiving the power stayed out all day. I’m not even gonna get into the dependas cheating left and right. If you know you know. If you ever end up here god speed brother.

Jodi: hey man I just got my orders to TWENTYNINE PALMS (29)
Me: LMAO welcome to the shit nest shit bird
Jodi: why do you say that
Me: once you smell the winds of shit you’ll know

Twentynine palms (29) by Shitbirds October 25, 2020

Twentynine Palms 

A place that has 70% Marines 20% crack heads and 10% civilians in which everywhere within a 1 mile radius has a barber shop at every turn. While on base if you don’t smell the winds of shit from lake bandini going all across base are you really in twentynine? Doing a CFT at del Val while breathing in the freedom of shit water is a must. Oh I can’t forget to mention that the POWER GOES OUT almost every day and will turn on 5 or 6 times for 30 seconds just to mess with you. I mean come on even on thanksgiving the power stayed out all day. Running here feels like there is needles in your lungs mixed with shit. I’ve already seen 6 people get divorced within a year of being there. I’m not even gonna get into the dependas cheating left and right. If you know you know. Don’t even think about getting setting yourself tinder radius within a 20 mile radius cause the desert “rats” “yetis” “slam pig” “slam piece” “wooks” “barracks bunnies” you name it already been ran threw by a whole battalion before you. If you ever end up here god speed brother.

Jodi: hey man I just got my orders to TWENTYNINE PALMS

Me: that’s awful good luck shit bird

Jodi: why do you say that

Me: once you smell the winds of shit you’ll know. Oh and don’t get married out there your wife will definitely cheat on you with someone in your own unit .

Twentynine Palms by Shitbirds October 28, 2020