Twatman is the drunken guy you seriously need to avoid. He's the
one who thinks he's a superhero. He will feel up and slobber over every female within grabbing distance, churning out such winning lines as "You're
beautiful, you are.
HEY! Did you know that, I said you're
beautiful? Cos you are." and "
Love, do you wanna come back to my flat and let me fuck you?". These lines are usually delivered whilst Twatman has his face pressed into an unfortunate woman's neck, breathing hotly and rasping his words in a sex killer's voice. Outside, with his mates, Twatman will give them appalling representation by yelling slurred insults at men that were innocently passing by, and inciting a gang style hatred between the two groups, when really, they could have just gone home. Twatman will fight like a retard following a laser pen, will lose and will cry on his knees, bellowing the name of his current or former
girlfriend. He will then walk through traffic, dismissing the vehicles as a threat to him and will search out a kebab van. After purchasing the greasy nastiness, he'll
wolf it down and puke. He'll tell his mates that he loves them, then get rowdy about it. He'll end his night drenched in
sick and gutter filth, plus his own
piss, and will be most definitely NOT having sex. He will have ruined everyone's night. These are the powers of Twatman. Bravo.
"
Keith turns into Twatman when we go out drinking, lets not invite him,
EVER"
"Last night you behaved
like a total Twatman, you were really out of order, and you deserve to be horsewhipped, or possibly to die for making that girl cry. I could have ended up fucking her if you hadn't come over and scared her off!"
