Twatman 

Twatman is the drunken guy you seriously need to avoid. He's the one who thinks he's a superhero. He will feel up and slobber over every female within grabbing distance, churning out such winning lines as "You're beautiful, you are. HEY! Did you know that, I said you're beautiful? Cos you are." and "Love, do you wanna come back to my flat and let me fuck you?". These lines are usually delivered whilst Twatman has his face pressed into an unfortunate woman's neck, breathing hotly and rasping his words in a sex killer's voice. Outside, with his mates, Twatman will give them appalling representation by yelling slurred insults at men that were innocently passing by, and inciting a gang style hatred between the two groups, when really, they could have just gone home. Twatman will fight like a retard following a laser pen, will lose and will cry on his knees, bellowing the name of his current or former girlfriend. He will then walk through traffic, dismissing the vehicles as a threat to him and will search out a kebab van. After purchasing the greasy nastiness, he'll wolf it down and puke. He'll tell his mates that he loves them, then get rowdy about it. He'll end his night drenched in sick and gutter filth, plus his own piss, and will be most definitely NOT having sex. He will have ruined everyone's night. These are the powers of Twatman. Bravo.

"Keith turns into Twatman when we go out drinking, lets not invite him, EVER"

"Last night you behaved like a total Twatman, you were really out of order, and you deserve to be horsewhipped, or possibly to die for making that girl cry. I could have ended up fucking her if you hadn't come over and scared her off!"

Twatman by MagickDio April 19, 2010

twatman 

An obnoxious or contemptible person of the male gender.

Used in lieu of the person's name.

I was going to go to class today, but I found out that twatman is taking it again.

twatman by Andy May 23, 2004

twatwanker 

Derogatory: Idiot. Lady pud-puller
pearl wiggler pull one's pud beat one's meat twat wanker wank arsehole idiot eejit fanny

She's a twatwanker of the first order.

twatwanker by Piemanius September 14, 2006

Twatlantis 

An extremely lubricious vagina - a legendary island with febrile shores around which one occasionally laps

'Our lass was so aroused, it was like searching for treasure in a subaqueous environment. Like scuba diving around Twatlantis.'

Twatlantis by Milo2009 August 8, 2009

Twatmonkey 

An idiot, or unpleasant person, used in the same way as douchebag, but more emphatic; one who dwells in twats, much like a buttmonkey dwells in butts

Each girl that Chuck goes for is sluttier and sluttier. He's such a twatmonkey

Twatmonkey by JessicaLS April 10, 2006

Twatdangle 

Absurd stunt involving David Blaine hanging upside-down above a NYC ice-rink for a couple of minutes, duly extended to mean any publicity-grabbing gig exposing the protagonist as a complete "twatdangle".

From Old English "Twattendang", from the Viking "Twtdnglersk", meaning to hang from the rigging of a longship in an attempt to impress your shipmates.

"Hey, did you see the upside-down David Blain thing? That was like so cool."

"Nah, the guy came down after two minutes for a piss. It was a total twatdangle."

Twatdangle by biglel March 4, 2009

Tiny Twatland 

Tiny Twatland

1.) The colloquial name for a house of prostitution located at 43rd St. and 6th Ave. in Manhattan run by the infamous early 20th Century courtesan Madam Francine "Flo" McGuillicuddy. So-called because of the stocking of the house with underage girls that had flocked to New York City seeking a career in show business on Broadway.

2.) A later bawdy house located in a walk-up tenement building located in the 400 block of 42nd St. between 9th and 10th Avenues. This humpty dump (low-grade whorehouse) earned the sobriquet in the immediate post-World War II period, allegedly as it featured female midgets from the nearby entertainment establishment Hubert's Dime Museum, which closed in 1957. According to the book "Ghosts of 42nd. St.", while there never was a documented case of there actually having been midget prostitutes on the Times Square police blotters, the second incarnation of "Tiny Twatland" did offer a special rate to performers at the Dime Museum, which featured freaks made famous by the photographs of Diane Arbus.

"Let's go over to Tiny Twatland and get us a peice o' ass," Shorty said.

"No thanks," I replied after locking the door beind me.

"Wassa matter, Paco," the midget said. "Don't you have any loose dollars in your jeans?"

"I need my tip money to pay the rent."

"Come on," the Lilliputian performer said. "I'll spring for you -- but just this once."

As quick as a dose of the clap, his saucer-sized countenance corkscrewed, his yellowed celluloid eyes clenched half-closed, cracking the smooth baby face into massive fault lines of wrinkles. It was if a cheap China doll had fallen from the shill's shelf, now held at an arm's length for inspection, broken. Shelling out actually pained him, seared his pocket-size soul, even the idea of it. Like all freaks, money was God, the only thing between him and a cardboard coffin slung into an unmarked, unmourned, and even worse for a performer -- unremarkable grave in the wet clay of Hart's Island.

-- Henry Chinaski, "The Piss-wild Horses of Perdition" (Black Sparrow Press, 1973)

Tiny Twatland by Twathenge April 25, 2006