Noun: An extremely large amount of something, unto absurdity.

Generally used in hyperbole.

Note: proper usage demands the British spelling of "tonne" becuse the extra letters are also absurd.

Angrybunnyman updates his journal a metric fuck tonne

metric fuck tonne by Angrybunnyman January 5, 2005

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The One Tonne Challenge

Where by large women are slept with by competing men for the sake of sport.

A race to 2200 lbs. (5 or more participating males needed; each one individually trying to reach the 2200 lb mark first)

The maximum number of girls you can have sex with to reach the goal of the One Tonne Challenge is 10. On average this would be 220 lbs each. Relations with over 10 females to reach the 2200 lb goal will result in disqualification.

You can divide your females up as you wish in order to reach the weight goal.

Eg. If you go under weight on some, say 180 lbs, you will have to compensate with a larger girl to even out, say 26o lbs.

The first person to reach the weight goal, while keeping their number of companions to under 10 is declared the winner.

The One Tonne Challenge by Lord P & Fab C January 26, 2005

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Epic fuck tonne

Grossly oversized quantity.
Unfathomable in most circumstances.

"I love you an epic fuck tonne Richard"
"Charlene drank an epic fuck tonne last night"

Epic fuck tonne by Team Charchie February 27, 2017

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Butt tonne

The metric amount that any given person can fit up their arse
arse load

"i have an arse load of soap."
"is that like, your arses mass in soap?"
"No like a Butt tonne, the amount you can fit in our arse"

Butt tonne by Kitschdoll October 16, 2008

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Metric Fuck Tonne

Unit of measurement.
Built upon the Old English term "shit load", which is very lacking in actual measurable significance, a Metric Fuck Tonne is a significantly more accurate. Easily identified with the abbreviation FT, a Metric Fuck Tonne is greater than one may care to measure. Most commonly used to describe weight which is clearly no less than one thousand kilograms, but when actual measurement has not taken place. Not to be confused with the antiquated, Imperial Fuck Tonne.

James: "I just couldn't get the fire to take, I think the wood was still green, so I threw a fuck tonne of petrol on and off it went!"

Frank: "Was that a imperial fuck tonne James?"

James: "Great question Frank - It was definitely one Metric Fuck Tonne"

Metric Fuck Tonne by Pimpdaddyrockstar August 2, 2013

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kidulting

The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys

Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!

kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025

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Boffin

British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.

According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.

Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023

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Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.

I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.

Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026

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