Skip to main content

Time Warner Cable

Time Warner Cable is the embodiment of AIDS, ebola, mad cow disease, the nanjing rapes, the holocaust, and every venereal disease known to mankind. It is the most satanic internet service provider in existence and its sole purpose is to FUCK you in the ASS until you cry from the incessant packet loss that they refuse to fix because they're greedy bitches that only want your money.
Fuck Time Warner Cable, bunch of assholes. I have so shitty of an internet connection that I think by comparison getting pegged by a chainsaw would feel better than suffering through this shit.
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.

Prices in USD. Free US shipping. International shipping and regional book fees are shown before payment.

Time Warner Cable

Any service every customer of should immediately quit using and swarm their headquarters with complaints about because the company's retarded decision-makers decide to take a step backward for more monetary gain. This step backward invovles replacing their original DVR system with a crappy-ass version that causes so many inconveniences it's impossible to count. Too concerned with their monetary gain, dipshits owners of the company will not act on the complaints they receive and revert back to the old one, rather they sit on their asses and look on while their customers are totally pissed off by their bullshit
3. Any unreasonable, foolish service or corporation that every customer of should quit using and make out complaints against because they care about their personal gain more than the satisfaction of their customers and service
Time Warner Cable's switching people over to their new shitty cable system has led to me hearing of complaints all across the board from various radio stations and the like, such as DVR wouldn't tape the same things and I missed a lot of the shows I had set to automatically recorded; the bar remains at the bottom of the screen for far too long and throughout pause; rewinding and fastforwarding on the new DVR box is really fucked up because it doesn't stop where you stop it at, the new box has lost a lot of options and features it used to have; the box keeps shutting off and rebooting at frequent random moments; things you have set to automatically record keep being undone and you have to go back and reset them; trying to tape a couple days in advance takes for ever because of the box's slow speed and doesn't even go as far in advance as the old one, etc.

When Time Warner Cable switched us over to the new fucked up version of DVR they provide, I gently picked up the Time Warner Cable box, dusted it off, shined it up, rubbed it softly, then smashed it with my hammer and tossed it into the fireplace to a loud clapping ovation from all the people in the sitting room in the doctor's office.

When the restaurant wouldn't give me my money back for the hair and toenails I found buried in my steak, I shouted "WHAT KIND OF SMELLY TIME WARNER CABLE SHIT ARE YOU RUNNING HERE?!"

Punched some geek named Robert Ullman in the face for turning the McDonalds up the street into a Time Warner Cable McDonalds.

That new store up the street is a total Time Warner Cable. They raised prices on everything and won't bring them down and now I refuse to go there.
More from Urban Dictionary
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
korean word for madam, older woman
Ajumma wait a moment
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026
Load more