Time Warner Cable is the embodiment of AIDS, ebola, mad cow disease, the nanjing rapes, the holocaust, and every venereal disease known to mankind. It is the most satanic internet service provider in existence and its sole purpose is to FUCK you in the ASS until you cry from the incessant packet loss that they refuse to fix because they're greedy bitches that only want your money.
Fuck Time Warner Cable, bunch of assholes. I have so shitty of an internet connection that I think by comparison getting pegged by a chainsaw would feel better than suffering through this shit.
by Purple Miku May 28, 2016
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Any service every customer of should immediately quit using and swarm their headquarters with complaints about because the company's retarded decision-makers decide to take a step backward for more monetary gain. This step backward invovles replacing their original DVR system with a crappy-ass version that causes so many inconveniences it's impossible to count. Too concerned with their monetary gain, dipshits owners of the company will not act on the complaints they receive and revert back to the old one, rather they sit on their asses and look on while their customers are totally pissed off by their bullshit
3. Any unreasonable, foolish service or corporation that every customer of should quit using and make out complaints against because they care about their personal gain more than the satisfaction of their customers and service
Time Warner Cable's switching people over to their new shitty cable system has led to me hearing of complaints all across the board from various radio stations and the like, such as DVR wouldn't tape the same things and I missed a lot of the shows I had set to automatically recorded; the bar remains at the bottom of the screen for far too long and throughout pause; rewinding and fastforwarding on the new DVR box is really fucked up because it doesn't stop where you stop it at, the new box has lost a lot of options and features it used to have; the box keeps shutting off and rebooting at frequent random moments; things you have set to automatically record keep being undone and you have to go back and reset them; trying to tape a couple days in advance takes for ever because of the box's slow speed and doesn't even go as far in advance as the old one, etc.

When Time Warner Cable switched us over to the new fucked up version of DVR they provide, I gently picked up the Time Warner Cable box, dusted it off, shined it up, rubbed it softly, then smashed it with my hammer and tossed it into the fireplace to a loud clapping ovation from all the people in the sitting room in the doctor's office.

When the restaurant wouldn't give me my money back for the hair and toenails I found buried in my steak, I shouted "WHAT KIND OF SMELLY TIME WARNER CABLE SHIT ARE YOU RUNNING HERE?!"

Punched some geek named Robert Ullman in the face for turning the McDonalds up the street into a Time Warner Cable McDonalds.

That new store up the street is a total Time Warner Cable. They raised prices on everything and won't bring them down and now I refuse to go there.
by Andy Corvatte April 25, 2008
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