Definition #1 - The stupidest fucking cunt living in Pittsburgh, his asshole expands to the star size of Texas and the strip of the Byzantine Empire, and when he poses for Goatsee, his anus screams Ave Maria.
Definition #2 - The underside of a typical male testical. Commonly known for being darker than the males scrotum. When people refer to "Tessius", they often do so without realizing it.
Definition #3 - The act of covering one's cock in shit and puke.
Definition #2 - The underside of a typical male testical. Commonly known for being darker than the males scrotum. When people refer to "Tessius", they often do so without realizing it.
Definition #3 - The act of covering one's cock in shit and puke.
Example given for definition #1:
Bitch 1: Did you just see that big fat fucking Tessius?
Bitch 2: How could I fucking miss it? I heard it giving a sermon as it walked by.
Example given for definition #2:
Dude 1:" Hey bro, ima suck you dick cuh. Then ima lick yo Tessius."
Dude 2: "Fuck yes. You know me too well!"
Example given for definition #3:
Hick 1: "So I was telling this dumb blond to shut the fuck up and she pulled a Tessius after I shoved my dick in her ass and pulled out in just enough time for her to eat the shit off of it. She vomited all over my cock.
Hick 2: Did she finish?
Hick 1: You fucking know she did.
Hick 1 & 2 high five.
Bitch 1: Did you just see that big fat fucking Tessius?
Bitch 2: How could I fucking miss it? I heard it giving a sermon as it walked by.
Example given for definition #2:
Dude 1:" Hey bro, ima suck you dick cuh. Then ima lick yo Tessius."
Dude 2: "Fuck yes. You know me too well!"
Example given for definition #3:
Hick 1: "So I was telling this dumb blond to shut the fuck up and she pulled a Tessius after I shoved my dick in her ass and pulled out in just enough time for her to eat the shit off of it. She vomited all over my cock.
Hick 2: Did she finish?
Hick 1: You fucking know she did.
Hick 1 & 2 high five.
by BallAdjuster June 14, 2011
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adj. having unpleasant expectations for the future, often used in reference to a person with the name Tess, syn. pessimistic
by bennyandboo August 28, 2016
Get the tessimistic mug.So many things that are actually dangerous end in "ium". Uran"ium", pluton"ium", stront:ium", etc. Then there are things that sound dangerous only because they end with that same "ium", like magnes"ium" and potass"ium".
A person that is 'tassium is pretending to be dangerous but really isn't, or might create danger for others or themselves accidentally.
For example, a wannabe gangsta brandishing a starter's pistol is 'tassium...until someone pulls out a real gun and shoots them dead!
A person that is 'tassium is pretending to be dangerous but really isn't, or might create danger for others or themselves accidentally.
For example, a wannabe gangsta brandishing a starter's pistol is 'tassium...until someone pulls out a real gun and shoots them dead!
by Shawn85206 July 16, 2020
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