Telescopr 

1. A man who goes out with a ginger but having an affair with a ginger

2. Someone who gets dumped on the first date twice

1. Keegan is a damn-tooting telescopr
2 Callum is a damn-tooting telescopr

Telescopr by callumhalo August 3, 2010

japanese telescope 

When the girl jerks off the man's penis in resemblance to a telescope. The man proceeds to cum in the woman's eye making her squint like a Japanese person.

I have the Japanese telescope ready ;).

japanese telescope by Chester St. Rumpterfrabble February 9, 2017

Telecoprolism 

The statistically anomalous tendency for the telephone to ring while you are having a shit. Extensive studies have shown that the phone of any individual has, at any given time, a 500% higher chance of ringing while its owner is evacuating his/her bowels than during other common everyday tasks such as masturbation, hoovering and chimping. Some schools of thought consider telecoprolism to be a subset of the Sod's Law principle. The others don't really consider such issues to be a worthy use of academic time and resources.

I was just settling down for my morning log and got telecoprolised by the bank again. Bloody telecoprolism, eh?

Telecoprolism by Lancaster's Second Finest August 15, 2011

telescope 

One of many euphemistic terms for a penis. Most famously used in this context in the Big Bang Theory episode, "The Boyfriend Complexity." In that episode, Howard and Raj accidentally kissed each other in the control room for a telescope. The next day, when Leonard casually asked Howard and Raj what had happened, both of them freaked out, even though Leonard hadn't heard about the kiss.

(FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY)

*Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.*

LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night?

RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.

LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened?

RAJ: Why? You writing a book?

SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.

RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?!

SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.

*Howard walks over to the table.*

HOWARD: Hey.

LEONARD: Hey.

SHELDON: Hello.

HOWARD: Hey.

RAJ: Hey.

LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?

*Howard and Raj both react with shock.*

HOWARD: Where'd that come from?!

RAJ: He never touched my telescope!!

HOWARD: Way to go shutting up!

RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up!

HOWARD: Fine!

RAJ: Thank you!

RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.

telescope by Daedalus Suburbanus December 6, 2013

Telescoping 

A form of urethra play, in which an individual with a very large penis is fucked in the urethra by someone with a smaller penis

Dude#1“Bro u ever stick a cotton bud up in ya dickhole? Shits dope”

Dude#2“Bitch please u ever try telescoping? Get yo dick out and lemme fuck your dick with my dick”

Telescoping by Shittybottomus November 28, 2018

TETESCOPHER 

A professional gambler. The word was coined in a popular Nigerian comedian/activist's skit in which ex-BBN housemante Tobi Bakare claimes to be into teteschophy.

Damn bro I'm no tetescopher but I'll stake everything on Nigeria beating Ghana in their next match

TETESCOPHER by @bobmanuel_g December 24, 2022

telescoping 

to masturbate into a tube and then ejaculate through the tube into someones eye

i was banging this bird last night. grabbed a toilet roll tube and proceeded in some telescoping

telescoping by luvchild1 September 22, 2009