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teaching 

1. A term for something being dry or armz. When someone is told off but can only be used in the case where the telling off is *true*.

2. Third party response to an insult

Orig. Polite teachers/parents critisizing work and then claiming that it's simply teaching, causing others present to say "Ohhh dry. I mean, teaching"
"You're way off pitch, where the _____ did you learn to sing?"
"Oh, TEACHING!"
teaching by LauraLouise May 21, 2004

Teaching Crabs How To Read 

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!

Teaching Range 

Minimum percentage of listeners to whom the speaker preferably lecturer aims to totally grasp whats he/she is teaching. Generally teaching range is calculated from 100.
RJ: Why the lecturer is repeating the same things again and again.
Reet: Dude her teaching range is above 80, and you know about our class. A lot of slow learners.
Teaching Range by Reet Awwsum September 2, 2013

teaching the one eyed chinaman how to dance 

oh man.. last night i tought the one eyed china man how to dance

Teaching Assistant 

A graduate/doctoral student who as part of their requirements assists a professor in their area of study with large lectures. They are often knowledgable about the material and are available to provide extra help to students who do not understand the material. Most TAs are fairly young (1-2 years older than undergraduate seniors) and the professors give them the sole responsibility of handling the grading of exams and other assignments. However, do not be fooled by their sincerity and kindness. They will not cut you any slack if you failed an exam because you're boyfriend broke up with you or your dog ate your homework. God, help you if they catch you cheating or plagiarizing because they will make your life a living hell. And in most cases, they are extremely harsh with their grading and they are usually told to manipulate grades so that the average falls below a certain grade.

They are often overworked by the entire department for which they are employed by. Often times they have their own coursework, projects, and research to focus on but since they need the money to stay in grad school they agree to help with coursework. Since they are essentially at the mercy of the department, it's likely that they will take their frustration out on your grades and you will most likely not do very well in the courses.
Student: Yo, Todd my Teaching Assistant is mad chill. I saw him drunk at the bar last night and he told me that I would get an A in the course.

Two days later

Student: WTF, I thought I was gonna do well. My TA is such a jerk.

Student 2: Please change my grade, I'll do anything.
TA: Sorry, I wouldn't have time for anything....

Student 3: If I don't get an A in this class, I'll get disowned by my family.
TA: I was disowned the moment I graduated college, it's honestly not that bad.
Teaching Assistant by PTrockstar92 October 4, 2013

Teaching a pig to sing 

A quote from Robert Heinlein: Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

Usually applied to someone that has a character flaw or annoying habit they will never change because they simply aren't able to.
A person with bad hygiene - you tell them they stink but they don't really care.
"Getting you to clean your room is like teaching a pig to sing; it's a waste of my time and all it does is annoy you."
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026
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