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teaching 

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A profession that highly skilled people find themselves in when they can't find a better job.

For all those people who say that teaching is great.....it is....just because all the kids are like Vikki Pollard
Shit I can't find a job that opays more than £10,000 a year....better go into teaching
teaching by Heather Scott November 4, 2004
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teaching 

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1. A term for something being dry or armz. When someone is told off but can only be used in the case where the telling off is *true*.

2. Third party response to an insult

Orig. Polite teachers/parents critisizing work and then claiming that it's simply teaching, causing others present to say "Ohhh dry. I mean, teaching"
"You're way off pitch, where the _____ did you learn to sing?"
"Oh, TEACHING!"
teaching by LauraLouise May 21, 2004

Teaching Crabs How To Read 

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Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!

Teaching Range 

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Minimum percentage of listeners to whom the speaker preferably lecturer aims to totally grasp whats he/she is teaching. Generally teaching range is calculated from 100.
RJ: Why the lecturer is repeating the same things again and again.
Reet: Dude her teaching range is above 80, and you know about our class. A lot of slow learners.
Teaching Range by Reet Awwsum September 2, 2013

teaching the one eyed chinaman how to dance 

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oh man.. last night i tought the one eyed china man how to dance

Teaching Assistant 

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A graduate/doctoral student who as part of their requirements assists a professor in their area of study with large lectures. They are often knowledgable about the material and are available to provide extra help to students who do not understand the material. Most TAs are fairly young (1-2 years older than undergraduate seniors) and the professors give them the sole responsibility of handling the grading of exams and other assignments. However, do not be fooled by their sincerity and kindness. They will not cut you any slack if you failed an exam because you're boyfriend broke up with you or your dog ate your homework. God, help you if they catch you cheating or plagiarizing because they will make your life a living hell. And in most cases, they are extremely harsh with their grading and they are usually told to manipulate grades so that the average falls below a certain grade.

They are often overworked by the entire department for which they are employed by. Often times they have their own coursework, projects, and research to focus on but since they need the money to stay in grad school they agree to help with coursework. Since they are essentially at the mercy of the department, it's likely that they will take their frustration out on your grades and you will most likely not do very well in the courses.
Student: Yo, Todd my Teaching Assistant is mad chill. I saw him drunk at the bar last night and he told me that I would get an A in the course.

Two days later

Student: WTF, I thought I was gonna do well. My TA is such a jerk.

Student 2: Please change my grade, I'll do anything.
TA: Sorry, I wouldn't have time for anything....

Student 3: If I don't get an A in this class, I'll get disowned by my family.
TA: I was disowned the moment I graduated college, it's honestly not that bad.
Teaching Assistant by PTrockstar92 October 4, 2013

Teaching a pig to sing 

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A quote from Robert Heinlein: Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

Usually applied to someone that has a character flaw or annoying habit they will never change because they simply aren't able to.
A person with bad hygiene - you tell them they stink but they don't really care.
"Getting you to clean your room is like teaching a pig to sing; it's a waste of my time and all it does is annoy you."
More from Urban Dictionary

Overstand 

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To understand a topic or statement to the highest extent.
Leroy, after being told the tenth time by his sister, did overstand her idea of robbing the 7-11.
Overstand by Elf Eater March 23, 2003
Word of the Day on August 20, 2026

minimap 

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A map that mostly tells you where everything is
Friend 1: Follow me there is a player nearby
Friend 2: How do you know?
Friend 1: Minimap
minimap by LeWord January 13, 2015
Word of the Day on August 19, 2026

Pink Cloud

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12 step recovery jargon referring to someone new who talks about how great life is, now that they're sober. Usually meaning that the person is out of touch with reality.
The new guy seems pretty happy for a dude who has no job, no money and no family. He must be on a pink cloud.
Pink Cloud by toniwithaneye November 24, 2006
Word of the Day on August 18, 2026

Dotard 

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An aging individual who has long lost the ability to make rational sense.
That dotard is going to get us all blown up, if he doesn't calm down .
Dotard by anonymous September 22, 2017
Word of the Day on August 17, 2026

Chancla

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The deadliest weapon known to a Latin kid; a flying slipper/ flip-flop.
My mom hit me with a chancla.
Chancla by TardisBae October 31, 2014
Word of the Day on August 16, 2026
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