When one has little to no conflict in their life to which they can rise to the occasion, that is build moral character through strife, they
will begin creating problems. This disease, if you
will, plagues the suburban regions of every state, often manifesting itself in young teens as well as middle-aged men going through identity crises, shallow trophy wives, tennis/soccer moms,
parents obsessed with their child'
s sport or scout troop, etc. are all also examples of "adults" with Suburbanitus.
It's sister disease is Urbanitus, creating strife from
boredom through
petty crime, gangs, etc.
Such diseases hint to an underdeveloped maturity in thought, leading to the illogical use of excessive, unjustified emotion. Perhaps the saddest thing about Suburbanitus is the cure. Only life threatening situations in which one clearly sees how shallow their lives are given the prominent and very
real threat of death can overcome the disease.
John: Hey Sally, want to hang out with me and Carol tonight?
Sally: Why do you choose her over me?
John: I'm not, I'm saying we should all hang out...
Sally: (bawls)
John: Bawwwwliin! Sally has the worst
case of Suburbanitus. She just runs around causing problems and creating
drama. She needs to grow up and quit acting
like a child.
