A young man or woman ๐ who in spite of the fact that they live in a perfectly fine subdivision are always berating their folks for their lifestyles not being 'on fleek' enough. Usually these kids are between about 14 to 21 years old.
Here are 2 examples of a Suburbanista 1Ariel 14 years old: "Mom could you just text me from the bottom of the driveway when. You come to pick me up from. Beneficents party? I'm ๐ณ embarrassed to be seen riding around in a Honda Civic! Example 2: Josh age 16 to his dad:"Dad why we gotta live in "Wooded Acres?" My friend Biff lives in ",Phuckhaven Heights". They have 2 clay tennis ๐พ courts and a black bottom pool in their backyard.Plus his dad drives 3 Bentleys! Why we gotta live in such a 'ghetto' dad? " Dad: " Someday you'll appreciate ", Wooded Acres" son!
1. A condition whereby any metropolitan area has its crime statistics exponentially increased or embellished by a person whose residence has fallen outside said area for at least three-quarters of their life.
2. Rarely visiting a city because of an irrational fear or stubborn ignorance.
After visiting Toronto, Matt felt encouraged and qualified to bashDetroit despite his embarrassing case of suburbanitis.
When one has little to no conflict in their life to which they can rise to the occasion, that is build moral character through strife, they will begin creating problems. This disease, if you will, plagues the suburban regions of every state, often manifesting itself in young teens as well as middle-aged men going through identity crises, shallow trophy wives, tennis/soccer moms, parents obsessed with their child's sport or scout troop, etc. are all also examples of "adults" with Suburbanitus.
It's sister disease is Urbanitus, creating strife from boredom through petty crime, gangs, etc.
Such diseases hint to an underdeveloped maturity in thought, leading to the illogical use of excessive, unjustified emotion. Perhaps the saddest thing about Suburbanitus is the cure. Only life threatening situations in which one clearly sees how shallow their lives are given the prominent and very real threat of death can overcome the disease.
John: Hey Sally, want to hang out with me and Carol tonight?
Sally: Why do you choose her over me?
John: I'm not, I'm saying we should all hang out...
Sally: (bawls)
John: Bawwwwliin! Sally has the worst case of Suburbanitus. She just runs around causing problems and creating drama. She needs to grow up and quit acting like a child.
Used to describe the barren wasteland known as suburbia. Its a play on the Persian suffix -stฤn, added to other wastelands such as Afghanistan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, and Uzbekistan.
I had to skip the party because it required travel to Suburbistan and I didn't have my papers with me.
The most prevalent vermin in the USA, usually indigenous to the Midwest. Recognized by the following characteristics:
-Pretending that they have lots of money, but are actually broke after spending it all trying to impress people with their McMansions, SUVs, etc.
-Love of shitty chain "restaurants" such as Applebee's, Chili's, The Olive Garden, IHOP, etc.
-Severely lacking in social skills and intelligence, due to their refusal to interact with anyone other than their elementary/middle school classmates from 15-20 years ago.
Suburbanite: Ooh, I don't like it in the city! I might get shot or mugged or something!
City Dweller: Stay the fuck out, we don't want you around here anyway!