When one has little to no conflict in their life to which they can rise to the occasion, that is build moral character through strife, they will begin creating problems. This disease, if you will, plagues the suburban regions of every state, often manifesting itself in young teens as well as middle-aged men going through identity crises, shallow trophy wives, tennis/soccer moms, parents obsessed with their child's sport or scout troop, etc. are all also examples of "adults" with Suburbanitus.
It's sister disease is Urbanitus, creating strife from boredom through petty crime, gangs, etc.
Such diseases hint to an underdeveloped maturity in thought, leading to the illogical use of excessive, unjustified emotion. Perhaps the saddest thing about Suburbanitus is the cure. Only life threatening situations in which one clearly sees how shallow their lives are given the prominent and very real threat of death can overcome the disease.
It's sister disease is Urbanitus, creating strife from boredom through petty crime, gangs, etc.
Such diseases hint to an underdeveloped maturity in thought, leading to the illogical use of excessive, unjustified emotion. Perhaps the saddest thing about Suburbanitus is the cure. Only life threatening situations in which one clearly sees how shallow their lives are given the prominent and very real threat of death can overcome the disease.
John: Hey Sally, want to hang out with me and Carol tonight?
Sally: Why do you choose her over me?
John: I'm not, I'm saying we should all hang out...
Sally: (bawls)
John: Bawwwwliin! Sally has the worst case of Suburbanitus. She just runs around causing problems and creating drama. She needs to grow up and quit acting like a child.
Sally: Why do you choose her over me?
John: I'm not, I'm saying we should all hang out...
Sally: (bawls)
John: Bawwwwliin! Sally has the worst case of Suburbanitus. She just runs around causing problems and creating drama. She needs to grow up and quit acting like a child.
by Blake Tipton April 20, 2008
Get the Suburbanitus mug.A person infected with suburbanitus usually lives in an upper class suburb outside a big or moderately sized city. They have 2.5 kids and live in sprawling houses in gated communities or the like. They drive 80,000 dollar SUVs such as Cadillac Escalades or Lincoln Navigators. Also in their garage, it is very likely to see a black four door sedan such as a Mercedes, BWM, Maserati, or Lexus. They believe that they have to impress everyone in a 100 mile radius, so they file to their local shopping center to waste their money on name brand clothing such as 150 dollar north face fleece, 300 dollar True Religion Jeans, and those ever so ugly UGG boots. They then walk to the food court and buy a 4 dollar coffee at Starbucks. Most victims of suburbanitus are fake dicks and think they're better than everyone else, though not admitting it, and giving the fake vibe that they love everyone. The children of the infected usually have a 50,000 dollar car by time their 15 and don't even have a license, they also love to cause unneeded drama to fulfill their empty shallow lives. Most people in the city despise suburbanites.
stereotypical quotes of the Suburbanitus victims;
"are you kidding me look at that girl, shes not wearing any name brand clothing, shes disgusting"
"HAHA I have a Mercedes E class, your's is only a C class"
"My North Face is polyester, your's is only fleece, please get away from me"
"are you kidding me look at that girl, shes not wearing any name brand clothing, shes disgusting"
"HAHA I have a Mercedes E class, your's is only a C class"
"My North Face is polyester, your's is only fleece, please get away from me"
by jaskeiotgjn March 5, 2009
Get the Suburbanitus mug.1. A condition whereby any metropolitan area has its crime statistics exponentially increased or embellished by a person whose residence has fallen outside said area for at least three-quarters of their life.
2. Rarely visiting a city because of an irrational fear or stubborn ignorance.
2. Rarely visiting a city because of an irrational fear or stubborn ignorance.
After visiting Toronto, Matt felt encouraged and qualified to bash Detroit despite his embarrassing case of suburbanitis.
by Joshua Gillis August 3, 2008
Get the Suburbanitis mug.The most prevalent vermin in the USA, usually indigenous to the Midwest. Recognized by the following characteristics:
-Pretending that they have lots of money, but are actually broke after spending it all trying to impress people with their McMansions, SUVs, etc.
-Love of shitty chain "restaurants" such as Applebee's, Chili's, The Olive Garden, IHOP, etc.
-Severely lacking in social skills and intelligence, due to their refusal to interact with anyone other than their elementary/middle school classmates from 15-20 years ago.
-Pretending that they have lots of money, but are actually broke after spending it all trying to impress people with their McMansions, SUVs, etc.
-Love of shitty chain "restaurants" such as Applebee's, Chili's, The Olive Garden, IHOP, etc.
-Severely lacking in social skills and intelligence, due to their refusal to interact with anyone other than their elementary/middle school classmates from 15-20 years ago.
Suburbanite: Ooh, I don't like it in the city! I might get shot or mugged or something!
City Dweller: Stay the fuck out, we don't want you around here anyway!
City Dweller: Stay the fuck out, we don't want you around here anyway!
by Mickey O'Brien September 3, 2010
Get the Suburbanite mug.by Johnny61161 May 3, 2008
Get the Suburbanite mug.1. Poor sad scared little person who never takes the time out to enjoy the diversity, excitement and establishments and atmosphere of a great city because they rush home in fear for their lives to their cloned "boxes" of cookie cutter houses the immediate 22 seconds after work.
2.A conceited, self-centered paranoiac who view themselves as so important that they assume that all city people automatically want to take the time out of their day to rob or shoot them at every city corner.
2.A conceited, self-centered paranoiac who view themselves as so important that they assume that all city people automatically want to take the time out of their day to rob or shoot them at every city corner.
Working guy:"Hey Dave, me and the guys are gonna head down to this great restaurant on 25th and Madison after work, wanna come ?"
Working Suburbanite guy Dave:"Are you kidding me ? You guys can go down there and get shot,and get mugged and all of the above if you want to but I'm going to go home to the safety of my quiet boring street and be with my wife who I know is cheating on me with my neighbor because I can't satisfy her but I pretend not to notice and my children who I know are doing drugs in the basement but I ignore it and pretend I have the perfect family!"
Working guy:"Okay...you have fun with that
Working Suburbanite guy Dave:"Are you kidding me ? You guys can go down there and get shot,and get mugged and all of the above if you want to but I'm going to go home to the safety of my quiet boring street and be with my wife who I know is cheating on me with my neighbor because I can't satisfy her but I pretend not to notice and my children who I know are doing drugs in the basement but I ignore it and pretend I have the perfect family!"
Working guy:"Okay...you have fun with that
by MindShaft October 13, 2008
Get the suburbanite mug.The second most prominent stereotype of americans next to hillbillys.
A person who believes in the freedom to annoy. If one decided to mow their lawn every 15 days instead of 10 then they'd get a nasty letter from the city council. They are more often of the conservative school of thought surprisingly, whilest somehow simultaneously perpetuating their frivolous zoning laws. They contest any and all bureaucratic processes that will allow any public building to be erected, thus creating a gridlock on social and economic progression. They cannot make any real choices in life like building a farm or becoming completely communilized in an urban setting.
A person who believes in the freedom to annoy. If one decided to mow their lawn every 15 days instead of 10 then they'd get a nasty letter from the city council. They are more often of the conservative school of thought surprisingly, whilest somehow simultaneously perpetuating their frivolous zoning laws. They contest any and all bureaucratic processes that will allow any public building to be erected, thus creating a gridlock on social and economic progression. They cannot make any real choices in life like building a farm or becoming completely communilized in an urban setting.
A suburbanite will always get the shaft in an urbanite dominated media.
There will be no more suburbanites in america in 50 years due to a rise in reasonable thought and lack of corporate pandering to divide the country.
There will be no more suburbanites in america in 50 years due to a rise in reasonable thought and lack of corporate pandering to divide the country.
by Cassy2 May 4, 2008
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