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St. Johns College

A school were losers go if you didn't get accepted into gonzaga ,prep or AHC and Visitation. The kids their suck at sports they are all wannabes and half of them are retards who go to Binel which is special classes for idiots. gonzaga+GC+Prep kick their asses at lacrosse,football,and baseball because they suck and think they get bitches.
Joe: Hey who you playing today?
Ron: St. Johns College.
Joe: Ha don't fall asleep ok brah!
by MerkyMerkina October 7, 2011
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St. Johns College Highschool

Quite possibly the largest gathering of braindead retards in all of the DMV. Many of their football players are barely able to pass their classes due to being let into the school for being morbidly obese in 8th grade. All the females hate it there becuase all the guys are focused on each other since they are all extremely homosexual and hungry for nothing but cock. They have an rotc program which pumps out more morons by the minute than georgetown prep. They routinley get raped by Gonzaga in basketball, soccer, and rugby, as well as football, as long as the refs arent sjc alumni and/or payed off by the program. Many times during the D.C. classic basketball tournemnt hosted by Gonzaga, a st johns freshmen is seen sitting alone in the Gonzaga student section during a boring prep vs. st johns game, living out his dreams becuase he couldn't get into gonzaga. St. Johns is commonly refered to as a "safety school" during the 8th grade highschool application process due to their incredibly low academic standards. Anyone with a heartbeat can easily get in to st johns and be a cadet, whatever the fuck that is. The small and quiet st johns booster club often cheers to oxygen at basketball games becuase they can't sellout a game like gonzaga can, due to the fact that the team would struggle against a ymca team of 40 year olds who "would have gone pro if it wasn't for the knee." Every girl that goes there knows that she would choose visi, stone ridge, or holy child given the option.
Guy: I go to St. Johns College Highschool
Girl: Get the fuck away from me you braindead moranic tard!

Guy: I go to Gonzaga.
Girl: I want you inside me.
by jawnster January 23, 2024
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St. John's College

A Liberal Arts college in the US, with two campuses: one in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and a needlessly preppy one, populated mostly by sophists. Famous for its approach to liberal arts, focus on great books, and its incredibly uncomfortable, but visually iconic, "Johnnie" chairs. Blackboards are everywhere at the college, and any attempt to change this policy is always crushed with extreme prejudice.

Students of the college are called Johnnies., and in place of professors, instructors are called tutors. This is because they are supposed to be on the journey of intellectual discovery with the students, rather than talking down to them. This is, most certainly, always the case, and tutors have never been known to give lectures in the middle of class to explain exactly why a particular school of thought is fundamentally incorrect because they entirely disregard the writings of one obscure thinker, the essays of whom said tutor will be happy to provide to the interested.

St. John's has no tests or exams. All students are evaluated through their writing and performance in discussion. To deal with the stress and anxiety which comes with much of the work of the college, many Johnnies smoke and engage in extreme forms of Bacchic revelry on a weekly to biweekly basis.

Contrary to popular belief regarding liberal arts degrees, Johnnies go into a variety of fields, mostly in education, academia, or corporate sophistry(commonly known to the uninitiated as the legal profession).
"Where are you going to college again?"
"Oh, I go to St. John's College in Santa Fe."
"Never heard of it."
"I'm not surprised."

Family member:"What do you guys even do at St. John's?"
Johnnie who has learned that most people are either totally disinterested in the truly meaningful parts of their studies and has lost all faith in the ability of most people to have serious conversations: "We read lots of books."
by notsocrates December 2, 2020
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St. John's College

A Liberal Arts college in the US, with two campuses: one in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and a needlessly preppy one, populated mostly by sophists. Famous for its approach to liberal arts, focus on great books, and its incredibly uncomfortable, but visually iconic, "Johnnie" chairs. Blackboards are everywhere at the college, and any attempt to change this policy is always crushed with extreme prejudice.

Students of the college are called Johnnies., and in place of professors, instructors are called tutors. This is because they are supposed to be on the journey of intellectual discovery with the students, rather than talking down to them. This is, most certainly, always the case, and tutors have never been known to give lectures in the middle of class to explain exactly why a particular school of thought is fundamentally incorrect because they entirely disregard the writings of one obscure thinker, the essays of whom said tutor will be happy to provide to the interested.

St. John's has no tests or exams. All students are evaluated through their writing and performance in discussion. To deal with the stress and anxiety which comes with much of the work of the college, many Johnnies smoke and engage in extreme forms of Bacchic revelry on a weekly to biweekly basis.

Contrary to popular belief regarding liberal arts degrees, Johnnies go into a variety of fields, mostly in education, academia, or corporate sophistry(commonly known to the uninitiated as the legal profession).
"Where are you going to college again?"
"Oh, I go to St. John's College in Santa Fe."
"Never heard of it."
"I'm not surprised."

Family member:"What do you guys even do at St. John's?"
Johnnie who has learned that most people are either totally disinterested in the truly meaningful parts of their studies and has lost all faith in the ability of most people to have serious conversations: "We read lots of books."
by notsocrates December 2, 2020
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St John's College Cardiff

A shit school with shit people and shit teachers. Like Ms Jones really be out here giving people death stares and shiz. The teachers really be Givin detentions for not bringing a book and having ur hair down. Like actually why? All of them really be not calm. And jus no. Girls really be out here having boyfriends with 2 years oldrr. And girls thinking they run the school and the boys think they be drug dealers or some shit. But they really jus be wearing puma.
St John's college Cardiff is shet
by Stjohnisshet March 21, 2019
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St. John's College

St. John's college is one of the oldest colleges in the United States. The college has two campuses, on in Maryland and one located in Arizona. The college is famous for it's Great Books curriculum and it's emphasis on the liberal arts. Also, everyone does the exact same major and no one at the college seems to think that's weird.

Students at St. John's at called johnnies and they do not have professors. Instead they have tutors. A St. John's tutor is normally very much like a St. John's student; highly intellectual, quirky, eccentric and either a pot smoker, a regular smoker or a drinker.

Basically if you go to this school you really love old books about old dead people and are the epitome of the intellectual. You probably like tea and mythology too.

St. John's has no test, just oral examinations.

A large percentage of students from St. John's are also admitted to grad school. The ones who do not attend grad school try and find jobs with their liberals arts degrees. So they join the peace corps and shit like that. Or just marry another Johnnie.

If you want to attend St. John's, keep in mind that although they have very high averages for test scores and the like, the admissions committee basically admits you on your essays alone. Everything is secondary.
"Hey, you go to St. John's College?"
"Yeah."
"You like it?"
"Well...like is a relative term...but assuming you're using the same definition I am, which here we shall say means looking fondly upon my experience as a student up until this point, yes."
"Uhm, what are you talking about?"
*gives dirty look*

Girl Jonnie: Hey! Wanna talk about books!"
Boy Jonnie: YES I LOVE THEM
Girl Jonnie: Socrates or Nabakov?
Boy Jonnie: I have an erection
by Sillysillygirl April 11, 2010
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St. John’s College High School

St. John’s is the best school ever. We love our sports and we are really good at them. Gonzaga and Georgetown prep kids like to hate on us because get all the girls and wcac titles. Sjc is so much fun and is full of funny kids who just want to have fun. Sjc part is are so much fun because everyone can come and have a good time (even the Wilson kids lol). Girls at St. John’s are so hot and athletic.
Gonzaga and Georgetown prep boys: omg that St. John’s college high school kid who is committed to unc for baseball just stole my girl!!
by Ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeedc January 14, 2019
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