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A white middle or upper-middle class woman in her mid-20's to mid-40's with the following characteristics:

1. Her children usually have names like Zachary, Tyler, Kaitlin, Hannah, Hailey, or Dylan
2. Husband is a rather bland person that works as a family practice doctor, attorney, computers, selling pharmaceuticals, or other office drone.
3. Her children are always enrolled in at least 2 activities such as ballet, hockey, skiing, softball, and of course, soccer.
4. Favorite hobbies that don't involve her kids usually include drinking Starbucks, shopping at Kohl's or Old Navy, or gossiping with friends
5. Favorite restaurants are usually Chik-Fil- A, Taco Bell, Red Robin, and Chili's
6. Religious preference is usually Southern Baptist or Nondenominational Megachurch
7. They live primarily in California, Texas, Florida, Atlanta, D.C., Colorado, or Arizona suburbs
8. Vehicles driven are usually mid or large SUV's, Suburban's, or hatchbacks
9. Her children are either home schooled or attend a private or charter school
10. Her children are not allowed to watch PG-13 or R-rated movies, play any video games not rated E, play outside unattended, browse the internet without parental controls, or have contact with any adults outside of family, teachers, or coaches
by waspcoloredstain June 14, 2013
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Usually rich or upper middle class white women. Married to husbands that have no role in raising their children and leave that to them. They tend to drive mini vans or large SUVS. They have no other role then to drive kids to private school, soccer practice, violen lessons, drama class, yoga for kids, summer camp and the mall. They can be easily spoted with the "my kid is honor student" bumper sticker and four kids jumping around. Mother is always on the cell phone and in the process cuts people off.

They are loud and annoying at games because they think they know more than the coach.
Soccer Mom - Why isn't my little Kevin playing?

Coach - Because your kid sucks at soccer

Soccer Mom - Kevin is going to be the next David Beckham, you just watch.

Coach - Whatever bitch, step off of the field.
by glum68 August 12, 2008
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Annoying bitch who stays at home to clean. She picks up here kids at school every day to lug them of to some kind of sports practice. She uses the v-chip,ESRB, and movie ratings as a tool to make sure her kids don't hear any "language" or see any violence. Internet is a "no-no" other than going on kiddie learning games websites for 30 minutes a day. If someone says "an inappropriate word" near her kids while she is with them, she will quickly cover their ears. She usually drives an SUV with a bumper sticker like "My Child is an Honor Student at ________ Elementary School", but no one cares if your little bitch of a child is an honor student. She only let's her kids listen to Oldies music or Christian "Family" Music. She makes sure to drive real slow as she wants to protect her precious angels who still sit in a carseat at age 9. bHer husband is usually a doctor, realtor, or some other money-making job.
Soccer Moms need to seriously tone down the "family" thing.
by rapsux March 16, 2005
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White, middle-class, middle-aged female. Hair pulled through the back of the baseball cap, into a ponytail. Usually seen "driving" a very large SUV. Also seen at stop signs staring aimlessly with their mouth open waiting for an open spot in traffic. Usually doesn't find one, so they pull out in traffic hoping to make their own spot. Thus causing an accident, which is paid for by their husbands income. Seen as an active parent at school. However, they never talk to their children because they have a cell phone blocking their ear, that they constantly scream into. Participating in booster clubs, PTA, church organizations. Ironically, you can find them cursing at the cashier because he couldn't return their curtains that they bought over a year ago, but never found time in their oh-so-busy lives to put up. All of this is usually done in front of their 'christian' children, who are going to grow even more mindless than their role model of a mother. Occasionally they go in flocks to the nearest mall, and trash every department they step into, throwing shoes on the ground, leaving once-hung items lying on the floor. Sometimes you see them running for the nearest open register, and fighting with the women that casualy strolls in front of her, explaining that she was there first, and doesn't have time to waste. She has to drive her one or two children away in an SUV that comfortably seats 8, so they don't miss their sports practice, or dance recital. Inflating gas prices mean nothing to these women and their gas hungry SUVs, because they haven't paid for anything with their own money since they married the father, who gets drunk twice a day, and comes home late into the evening. Lastly, these soccer mom's only answer to "homemaker"
A soccer mom is the lady you've seen on the side of the road yelling into her cell phone, standing next to an SUV with a flat tire. Don't offer help, she'll never appreciate it.
by Chriswizzle May 24, 2006
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1. The reason we have little nuisances like the ESRB RIAA and FCC
2. Any DECENT person's worst nightmare (right next to Billy Ray Cyrus)
3. Mothers who think that by making there kids slaves to pop culture, it would make up for the fact that they live shitty, cocaine-infested lives.
Teen: *Buying M-Rated game*

Soccer Mom: You're not 17. You have to be 17 or older to buy that game.

Cashier: Sorry, I can't sell this to you.

Soccer Mom: Games like this poison your mind.

Teen: No, assholes like you poison my mind.

Soccer Moms are like AOL cds, for every one that you get rid of, 10 more spring up.
by Inspector Gadget March 12, 2005
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Dumb whores who have nothing better to do than drive their son to soccer practice, bitch to the clerk in the EB Games/GameStop store at the mall about how violent video games are "Polluting our youth's minds" and orders them to take them off the shelves and no longer sell them, and get in car wrecks with their gigantic minivan/SUV.
by Novasuna August 10, 2006
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A Soccer Mom is a dumb, ignorant, upper middle class cunt who tries to give the impression that she is from the upper class. The main identifications of Soccer Mom's are a huge coffee, those stupid short jackets that are meant for chicks in their 20's, an attitude of entitlement and bitchness, and an SUV that rivals the fuel consumption and handling of a tank.

Other characteristics include a huge butt shoehorned into jeans meant for slim chicks in their 20's, rampant materialism, probably racist, some type of hardcore conservative. This is basically a grown up version of the college slut who was a general bitch to everyone.

Her children are known as "Mindy" and "Biff". Mindy is the dumb airheaded slut who has the same attitude of entitlement. Mindy is usually dressed up in tight pants that cause butt suffocation, and some kind of tank-top. Biff is the wannabe tough guy frat boy who is probably racist, spits everywhere, and has a chip on his shoulder. Eventually, another type of Mindy meets another type of Biff and the cycle continues.

Soccer mom's can be seen speeding up the apocalypse by encouraging armed conflict in a world where the vast majority of nations have nuclear weapons, yelling at people to get their way, glaring at me because I look like an Arab, so I must be trying to take over the world or something, hating minorities, drinking coffee, and being a general pain in the ass.
The Soccer Mom is the dumb cunt with the huge butt standing in line in front of you at a coffeeshop, yelling at the poor overworked waitstaff that they forgot to add mocha to her half-caf, splenda, mocha, vanilla latte. In addition, they also forgot to smile.
by Clip June 13, 2006
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