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A usually white, middle-classed woman. She drives an SUV. Her kids are her "little angels" and are more important than anything or anyone else in the world and deserve to play game demos or do anything else more than everyone. She doesn't let her "little angels" watch TV with "naughty words" such as crap, pussywillow, and pants. Her kids aren't allowed to go on the internet because it's all about sex, raping little children, buying useless crap, and getting scammed. She strictly enforces the ESRB ratings systems; by that I mean makes up her own: EC = 10 and under, E = 11 and up, T and above = "Not in my house" (Movies: PG and under = Only movies you can see). Anything that doesn't say they're Christian is automatically Satanic; this includes 99.998% of music. Her children participate in as many after-school activities as possible and are usually at day camp during the summer.

Soccer moms are usually seen screaming at people, getting into car accidents, and breaking copies of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and refusing to pay for them.
by Andrew! August 24, 2003
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1. The downfall of human society
2. The only people who have no real purpose in life other than to pick up there children from school, take them to an after school program, (Karate,Soccer,Baseball, Football)and to be the trophy wife of a husband that hardly spends time with his kids. Often seen trying to blend in, but stands out like a sore thumb. Usually seen driving a huge ass SUV and is proud that their child is a slave to pop culture and won't think for themselves. They are allowed to bring their bratty ass kids anywhere, but if you are in line with a box of condoms (trying not to make the same mistake they made) they have the balls to make faces and make stupid ass remarks. They also think that their "little angels" wouldn't make any of the same mistakes they made. Even though they act like there the boss, they don't run sh!t.
Man in Line: *Buying condoms*
Soccer Mom: *Laughing* What do you need those for, you're pretty young.
Man in Line:Ease up out of my face, bitch
Soccer Mom: Don't talk use that language in front of my kids!*Covering kids ears*

The soccer mom goes home to find her oldest daughter having an orgy with three guys, two girls, and a goat.
by Guile August 31, 2004
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The most despicable species of woman known to humankind.

Soccer Mom is aged 30 to 50 years and can always be found in Havertown, PA. She lives in an overrated neighborhood which in all honesty looks like lower-middle-class suburban Philadelphia on a good day.

She drives either a minivan or an SUV, which she needs to cart around her 2.3 kids, who are as obnoxious as all get out. In addition to soccer, the little darlings also particiate in karate, ballet, basketball, hockey, etc. They are never disciplined because soccer mom fervently believes they are perfect in all ways.

She's married to Mr. Corporate America. He's usually burnt out because he's forced to work 60+ hours every week in order to pay the sky-high mortgage, two car payments, private school tuitions, fees for the kids' activities, and the bills for Soccer Mom's profligate spending. He therefore needs to blow off steam by either screwing random secretary sluts or by spending his lunch hours at the local titty bar. Soccer mom either doesn't know this or doesn't want to.

Soccer Mom has no life outside her children and their activities. During the day when the kids are in school, she can be found trolling the local shopping mall and maxing out hubby's credit card buying stuff she doesn't need at the Bombay Company. She also is forced into the mall during the day as a way of killing time until the Merry Maids are finished cleaning the house.

Soccer Mom's musical preferences are Celine Dion and Faith Hill. She can't blast a Celine Dion CD in someone's presence without launching into her nauseating story of how she and hubby danced their wedding dance to "My Heart Will Go On," and how perfectly the song epitomizes her feelings for him. Sigh.

Soccer Mom sees any woman who's reasonably attractive and within 10 lbs. of her ideal body weight as a threat and a slut with the potential to seduce hubby. As if any woman would want his flabby ass!

Soccer Mom also has a rabid tendency to keep up with the Joneses.

All things considered, someone to avoid.
"Look out for the runaway minivan driven by the soccer mom!"

"The parking lot was crammed with soccer moms dropping their kids off to practice."
by Machka January 29, 2007
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A middle aged woman who is still trying to be the prep they were when they were kids. They try to hide everything from their "beautiful precious children" and anything that isn't christian is satanic. The children are not allowed to be individual, oh goodness no!!! And of course, they have big honkin' SUVs. And they wear sweatpants. Oh. My. Gosh.
Me: *listening to Nirvana*

Soccer Mom: Please turn that atrocious music down, there are CHILDREN present!!!

Me: *turns it up*

Soccer Mom: OMYGOSH HOW DARE YOU, MY CHILD IS CORRUPTED BY YOUR MISBEHAVIOUR I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE and did you know that my child is an honor student??

Me: *turns up music some more* Shut up bitch.
by huntergreen February 02, 2005
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Middle Aged Women who have no real purpose in life except to watch the kids and piss everybody else off. They are often seen in Wal-Mart.They are usually seen wearing Holiday-themed sweaters and shopping. They are allowed to bring there bad a$$ kids anywhere they want to,but if your listening to anything other than Radio Disneythey act bitchy and wanna act like they're your parents. Also seen driving unesssarily huge SUV. The only people who try to "Bargin" with there children, instead of disciplining them.
Man:*listening to Snoop Dogg*

Soccer Mom: Can you turn that ruckus down, there's children present.

Man:Turns down music slightly*

Soccer Mom: TURN DOWN THE MUSIC OR I'M GONNA TELL YOUR PARENTS!

Man: I'm a grown ass man

Soccer Mom: TURN IT DOWN NOW! *Gets in mans face*

Soccer Mom: *leaving*

Man: You know what they say..you can't teach an old bitch new tricks



Man: Get
by New Jerseyite August 21, 2004
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A middle-aged, overprotective woman, usually the mother of two children with names like Britney, Brandon, Caitlyn, Austin, etc. She is usually blonde (often bleached) and has average to above average looks (the latter usually being also a "trophy wife").
She lives in the suburbs, doesn't work (may become an obnoxious realtor after the kids go off to college), and spends an inordinate amount of time at her kids' schools, usually to the chagrin of the teachers and/or administrators.
She is the reason, and the ONLY reason, why Kids Bop has a market because she wouldn't dare let her precious children listen to the actual versions of Top 40 radio.
She drives a gas guzzeling SUV embossed with soccer decals on the rear window. If her husband is particularly successful (usually an overpaid attorney), she drives the higher end version of said SUV (such as the GMC Denali or a Lexus RX 330) so as to show all the more middle income SMs that she is just a bit better than they are.
The soccer mom popped Kids Bop 6 into her cd player to entertain her daughter, Britney, while driving her to gymnastics. After dropping Britney off, she sped to her nail appointment. Her husband, Jeff, later met her at the Country Club after he finished playing a round of golf with his buddies from the firm.
Meanwhile their son, Brandon, who had been busy applying to several colleges, was taking a break by fucking his girlfriend in his parent's hot tub.
by Tom Fool May 24, 2007
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1. A short (sometimes fat) mom who gives her kids (little angels) absolutely no freedom by scheduling everything known to man. Between 3:30 and 6:30. Even scheduling time able to be spent with friends. They also drive the biggest SUV/ minivan around and complain about gas prices. The inside do there SUV/minivan is usually filled with cheerios, sticky stuff, and other assorted snacks and drink causing a weird funky-ass smell. They are also the people at soccer and other non-contact sport) resulting in the growth of pussy children) with noise making objects such as horns, air horns, and other loud obnoxious things. You may also see them taking over the road and cutting you off on the road resulting in flipping people off, head-on collisions, and ass kicking. They are also the people who put censors on anything. You can’t say a curse near the children otherwise you will get yelled at. There kids are based around being spoiled and ESRB ratings, movie ratings and edited music. They are the people with the kids who yell at there parents and control the household. Usually married but dad is never around.

While driving in my 69 Roadrunner to buy my kids the new Grand theft auto game and a KORN CD, a Dodge Caravan cut me off nearly hitting my car resulting in a soccer mom ass whooping. When I got to the store and my kids got the game and CD, another soccer mom (who was buying her bratty children 2 copies of the same Sponge bob game) told me that am inappropriate for children so I told her to fuck off and let me raise my own children. Then while blasting the KORN CD near a soccer game a heard of coffee drinking soccer moms told me to turn it down because of language which I just turned up even louder.
by CWC November 27, 2006
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