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Scissor Me Timber

1. A phrase known as an activity of sexual satisfaction amongst an assemblage of lady pirates.

2. The female attempt to dismember a man's penis from his body by utilizing the unyielding strength of her labial lips.

i.e. Sever Me Timbers
Lady Pirates? Scissor me timbers? Get it?

ARRRGH! As she wrapped her legs about his torso with the force of one-thousand seahorse, her lips opened like the fearsome kraken to disarm the man of his weary vessel. "Scissor me timber," he shouted in vain, "if I weren't still coming I would feel wretched pain!"

scissor me timbers 

A phrase used in a south park episode where Mr. or Ms. Garrison explored being a lesbian. Garrison was in bed with another woman "scissoring" (in which two women inter-lock each others legs for sexual arrousal). it is at this time that Garrison becomes excited and says "Oh yeah scissor me timbers!!!".
Lesbian: "I haven't gotten a piece of ass in a while I really wish somebody would scissor me timbers."

Scissor me timbers 

A variation of "shiver me timbers," a common pirating term, screamed by women during lesbian lovemaking. The term refers to their interlocking legs, which are often spread at an angle similar to open scissors.
"How does this double headed dildo feel, lesbian lover?"

"Scissor me timbers!"

scissor me timbers 

referring to the sexual postion for lesbains"scissoring"

Foot prisons 

Socks. Annoying, sweat-causing, non-barefoot enducing, everyday socks.
The first thing I do when I take off my shoes, is rip off the foot prisons I had to wear inside them. That's why I prefer flip flops, even in winter!
Foot prisons by Jackalope Hunter December 13, 2022
Word of the Day on July 10, 2026

cornholio 

Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.
"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).
cornholio by AYB July 20, 2003
Word of the Day on July 9, 2026