Renesmee (pronounced 'Mary Sue') Carlie
Cullen (nicknamed Nessie), a character in the four book Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer, introduced in the fourth book Breaking Dawn. She has currently caused the downward spiral of
Twilight as a barely respected fandom, much to Meyer's butthurt dismay.
The spawn of
Bella Sue Swan and
Edward Sparkle
Cullen's bed-breaking, headboard-banging, pillow-biting loveplay, Nessie is typically described in Breaking Dawn as "a giant, sparkly demon spawn," "the Loch Ness
Monster" and "an abortion." Meyer herself describes Nessie as a "glowing, wonderful, half-human, half-vampire baby that everybody should love, BUY ONE RIGHT NOW AND GET 20 PERCENT OFF YOUR INEVITABLE PURCHASE OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA CONCORDANCE, coming this
Christmas! It'll be something the entire family can enjoy!"
Renesmee's nickname, "Nessie," can be attributed to Jacob Black, her mother's former boyfriend and Nessie's own future lover (Jacob had imprinted on a fresh-out-of-the-bloody-womb Nessie).
Nessie's birth and conception are controversial topics in Breaking Dawn, leading many a fan as to question Meyer's knowledge of
sex and 10th grade biology. Meyer, who had stated venom had impregnated
Bella in the book, cannot answer this herself, complaining that "my characters keep secrets from me," further proof she is a nut case.
As a half-human half-vampire spawn, Nessie enjoys the best of both worlds of humanity and vampirism. According to Breaking Dawn, Nessie
will grow up in 7 years of human life, and
will stop growing once she's legal and Jacob can finally consummate their love. (Eventually Jacob
will have to have a seat right over there.) Also included in the vampire/human package is Nessie's vampire power of displaying her thoughts to a person by touching them, as if the simple thoughts of a plesiosaur was important to anyone. Scientists call it a marvel.
The introduction of Nessie instigated widespread negative reactions by
Twilight fans the world over, leading to mass sporkings, book burning and returning. A butthurt Meyer had remarked that she had indeed planned for everything for
Bella to be
perfect and unrealistic. One interviewer could plainly see Meyer's smug satisfaction of fantasy fulfillment. Meyer has constantly backhanded questions of the possibility Renesmee with half-assed answers. Fans were not amused.
