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renesme

the demon spawn of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen from the Twilight Saga's fourth installment 'Breaking Dawn' AKA the fail boat. She is half human half vampire. She has curly locks, brown eyes and a rapid pulse. She can let you see images in your mind by touching you. She loves the taste of human blood and she grows at a rapid speed until she reaches maturity. She is also the pedophilia love of Jacob Black's life.
Renesme being birthed was the most disturbing thing I have ever read.
by killa_k_ October 9, 2008
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Renesmee

Renesmee (pronounced 'Mary Sue') Carlie Cullen (nicknamed Nessie), a character in the four book Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer, introduced in the fourth book Breaking Dawn. She has currently caused the downward spiral of Twilight as a barely respected fandom, much to Meyer's butthurt dismay.

The spawn of Bella Sue Swan and Edward Sparkle Cullen's bed-breaking, headboard-banging, pillow-biting loveplay, Nessie is typically described in Breaking Dawn as "a giant, sparkly demon spawn," "the Loch Ness Monster" and "an abortion." Meyer herself describes Nessie as a "glowing, wonderful, half-human, half-vampire baby that everybody should love, BUY ONE RIGHT NOW AND GET 20 PERCENT OFF YOUR INEVITABLE PURCHASE OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA CONCORDANCE, coming this Christmas! It'll be something the entire family can enjoy!"

Renesmee's nickname, "Nessie," can be attributed to Jacob Black, her mother's former boyfriend and Nessie's own future lover (Jacob had imprinted on a fresh-out-of-the-bloody-womb Nessie).

Nessie's birth and conception are controversial topics in Breaking Dawn, leading many a fan as to question Meyer's knowledge of sex and 10th grade biology. Meyer, who had stated venom had impregnated Bella in the book, cannot answer this herself, complaining that "my characters keep secrets from me," further proof she is a nut case.

As a half-human half-vampire spawn, Nessie enjoys the best of both worlds of humanity and vampirism. According to Breaking Dawn, Nessie will grow up in 7 years of human life, and will stop growing once she's legal and Jacob can finally consummate their love. (Eventually Jacob will have to have a seat right over there.) Also included in the vampire/human package is Nessie's vampire power of displaying her thoughts to a person by touching them, as if the simple thoughts of a plesiosaur was important to anyone. Scientists call it a marvel.

The introduction of Nessie instigated widespread negative reactions by Twilight fans the world over, leading to mass sporkings, book burning and returning. A butthurt Meyer had remarked that she had indeed planned for everything for Bella to be perfect and unrealistic. One interviewer could plainly see Meyer's smug satisfaction of fantasy fulfillment. Meyer has constantly backhanded questions of the possibility Renesmee with half-assed answers. Fans were not amused.
Renesmee? Psh, that sounds like it came out of a fanfic on Fanfiction.net!

...

It ends at Eclipse.
by hide-n-seek October 9, 2008
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Renese

A Renese is a need to have friend. She will have you laughing even if you don't want to. She is a easy going girl and is smarter than you will ever know. A Renese will talk to you for hours, making it the best part of your day. She will share her personal experiences with you and will make you wish you had her positive look of the world. A Renese will have the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen and hair that would make all the girls that see her jealous. A Renese will have the brightest personality you have ever seen, making her the most beautiful person on the inside and outside. She is a kind, selfless and happy 24/7. A Renese has the most amazing fashion sense you will ever see, matching her personality to perfection. If you are fortunate enough to meet a Renese, you better hold onto her, because if you lose her you will never get her back.
Boy 1: Wow that girl has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.

Boy 2: I know, I bet you 100 bucks shes a Renese.

Boy 1: No way, she probably is a Renese.
by BCHockey18 January 5, 2018
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Renesmee

The combination of Edward and Bella on a Honeymoon after Rough sex (even though the author said vampires were sterile?) Bella came up with this SUPER CREATIVE name (*sarcasm*) from combining the names Renee+Esmee. The Demon baby started to kill Bella from the inside out as she refused to get an abortion because she is stupid, She starts looking like an anorexic heroin addict. They cut bella open, Take out the demon pizza baby and bella dies. The Werewolf (Bella's ex-Boyfriend-ish) sees the demon and falls in love (pedo) After a couple days of being dead Bella wakes up as a vampire.
It ended at Eclipse.
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Edward: Get an abortion Bella!
Bella: No! I'm strong.
Edward: You're gonna die
Bella: Its just a Baby!
Edward: A FUCKING BABY THAT IS KILLING YOU!
-
Bella: So Guys I thought of some names! okay so If its a boy, EJ or Edward Jacob and If its a Girl Renesmee Because its Renee+Esmee!
Everyone: -Facepalm-
Edward: Uh... Those are great names Bella! ha.. ha
Bella: -dies-
Jacob: fuck ima kill that son of a bitch demon
Edward: Shes. So. Fucking. Stupid.
Jacob: AHH THAT BABY IS SEXY! IM IN LOVEEEE!
by It Ended at Eclipse December 18, 2011
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Renesmee Cullen

A central character in Breaking Dawn, Renesmee Cullen is the ultimate mary sue baby. She's gorgeous, everyone loves her and she stops the big fight. She's really quite the disgrace.

Full Name: Renesmee "Nessie" Carlie Cullen. ....Really? RENESMEE?
Renesmee Cullen: Let me touch your forehead.
The Volturi: Oh ok, we won't kill you now because you are so perfect.
by KooChan February 14, 2009
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Renesmee

1. The name of Bella and Edward's hybrid child.

2. The person Jacob imprinted on.

3. A name that could be used in place of the Loch Ness Monster.

4. The worst tribute to Esme and Renee the Twilight Saga has ever heard of.

5. Similar to Albus Severus Potter and Zuma Nesta Rock.
1. Renesmee touched her mother's face.

2. Renesmee is Jacob's world now.

3. "What's that coming out of the water?"

"It's Renesmee!"

"What?"

"Oh, you know, the Loch Ness Monster?"

"Oh, ok. Stupid of me to forget that."

5. Bella Cullen, Harry Potter and Gwen Stefani decided to write a book of baby names and have theirs inserted first.
by The Lincoln October 18, 2008
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Renesmee

The child of Edward and Bella Cullen for the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. Her entire existence is a lengthy plot hole in the series. She is described as adorable, but we all know that she is a creep. She grows extraordinarily quickly because we would never want a child to detract from Edward and Bella's all night sex. This also means that she will be fully grown after seven years and that her predetermined love of her life, Jacob Black (who previously wanted to sex up Renesmee's mother and murder her father), will be able sex her up. Renesmee also has the nickname Nessie because Jacob realized that Bella needed a new naming book. (And Nessie is soooo much better.)
Rabid Fangirl: Jacob is not a pedophile because Stephenie Meyer said so! Yeah!

Rabid Fangirl: Renesmee is sooooooo adorable!!111one!11
Me: *chokes to death on vomit*

The Loch Ness Monster is not pleased.
by Shakespeare92 October 18, 2008
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