Skip to main content

Quantus theory

The concept that it's much better to emigrate to Australia than live in a tired and rather shabby looking United Kingdom. The theory sounds great, but is complicated by the Drongo Uncertainty Principle, in which you either live in Australia but realise it's not as great as you thought it would be (which usually occurs when the deadly finger-web spider bites you on the funnel) OR you're in the UK, it's cold, wet, and dismal, and you've just been mugged for your mobile phone, and so you dream of an idyllic life in the sun playing with large friendly marsupials (known as 'Ozzies').
In the UK:
Gerald: 'That damned Johnny in the hooded top just beat me up and took my phone!'
Edward: 'Ahhhh! Playing with the Ozzies in the balmy climes of Australia would be so much better!'
Gerald: Hmmmm! Quantus theory!'
-------------------------------------
Simultaneously in Australia:
Tadger: 'Bollocks mate! I just got bit on the funnel by a finger-web spider!'
Johnno: 'No wucking furries mate, we'll move to England.'
Tadger: 'Rack off! That's just Quantus theory!'
by Pedrosa von Beagle August 7, 2006
mugGet the Quantus theory mug.

Quantus theory

The concept that it's much better to emigrate to Australia than live in a tired and rather shabby looking United Kingdom. The theory sounds great, but is complicated by the Drongo Uncertainty Principle, in which you either live in Australia but realise it's not as great as you thought it would be (which usually occurs when the deadly finger-web spider bites you on the funnel) OR you're in the UK, it's cold, wet, and dismal, and you've just been mugged for your mobile phone, and so you dream of an idyllic life in the sun playing with large friendly marsupials (known as 'Ozzies').
In the UK:
Gerald: 'That Johnny in the hooded top just beat me up and took my phone!'
Edward: 'Ahhhh! Playing with the Ozzies in the balmy climes of Australia would be so much better!'
Gerald: 'Ahhh! Quantus theory!'
------------------------------------
Simultaneously in Australia:
Tadger: 'Bollocks mate! I just got bit on the funnel by a finger-web spider!'
Johnno: 'No wucking furries mate, we'll move to England.'
Tadger: 'Rack off! That's just Quantus theory!'
by Pedrosa von Beagle September 10, 2008
mugGet the Quantus theory mug.

Quantum Theory

The Quantum mechanics is a fundamental theory in physics that provides a description of the physical properties of nature at the scale of atoms and subatomic particles. It is the foundation of all quantum physics including quantum chemistry, quantum field theory, quantum technology, and quantum information science. It is provides accurate descriptions for many previously unexplained phenomena, such as black-body radiation and the stability of the orbitals of electrons in atoms. It has also given insight into the workings of many different biological systems, including smell receptors and protein structures. This is the hardest part of physics since you are able to create many advanced, high tech things.
Did you know the quantum theory is-“-Max Planck
Shut up and stop being a nerd”-Niels Bohr
by SasorSauce December 16, 2022
mugGet the Quantum Theory mug.

quantum theory

A novel and revolutionary way of viewing the world, the main postulates of the quantum theory include...
1. Light exhibits dual wave-particle behaviour as does all matter. The photoelectric effect and the discovery of light having momentum led to this belief and the theory that energy is absorbed and emitted in finite 'chunks' called quanta. The wavelength of macroscopic material, however, has such a small wavelength that we still treat them with the laws of Newtonian mechanics rather than wave mechanics. Since electrons have a tiny mass, however, their wavelength becomes somewhat significant.
2. Werner Heisenberg and Erwin Schrödinger went one step further on this. Heisenberg said if we know the position of the electron outside the nucleus we have no idea what its momemtum is and vice versa. Schrödinger then took this into account and proposed a new model of the atom. This is often illustrated as an electron cloud, where the denser the cloud, the greater the probability is of finding an electron.
3. A natural consequence of this is that there is an inherent imprecision in nature. The physical world is just based on probabilty.

(That's my attempt at explaining it. I'm not shocked by the theory so don't assume I know what I'm talking about.)
"Anyone who is not shocked by quantum theory has not fully understood it" - Niels Bohr
by jeffrey_smith June 14, 2005
mugGet the quantum theory mug.

quantum theory

a theory in physics based on the concept of the subdivision of radiant energy into finite quanta and applied to numerous processes involving tranference or transformation of energy in an atomic or molecular scale.
Now do you understand the Quantum Theory? g-o-o-o-o-d
by hawk May 29, 2003
mugGet the quantum theory mug.

quantum theory

Einstein on quantum theory: "God doesn't play dice with the universe."

God: "C'mon lucky number 7!"
by the_unknown December 4, 2012
mugGet the quantum theory mug.

quantum theory

by Anonymous August 6, 2003
mugGet the quantum theory mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email