Pitchforky

Criticism that is pitifully reactionary and irresponsible

Ryan's review of the new Wilco record was a little pitchforky.

Pitchforky by m.leland June 6, 2007

Pitchforky

The feeling you get when you realize how much the ultra wealthy are messing up your life.

“Looking at the price of real estate around here makes me feel pitchforky.

Pitchforky by Phoebetrauma June 25, 2023

Randy Pitchford 

A low-life, lying scumbag who cannot take criticism. A person who is referred to as Randy Pitchford is someone who will shift blame onto others, and never take any level of personal responsibility. Also often obsessed with magic.

I really fucking hate Jake. He’s a real Randy Pitchford

Randy Pitchford by ConradMurray__ April 10, 2019

torch and pitchfork crowd 

A group of angry or vocal opponents who regularly come out against something, usually prognosticating dire consequences.

Last Saturday's city council meeting was attended by the usual torch and pitchfork crowd, demanding retractions and threatening immediate action;

torch and pitchfork crowd by Euripedes October 8, 2008

Pasadena Pitchfork 

Highly skilled maneuver that involves a man double fisting a woman while simultaneously receiving fellatio and taking a shit on the toilet.

I accidentally walked in on Darrel giving a Pasadena Pitchfork at grandma's house last week.

Pasadena Pitchfork by Van Jermaine October 11, 2016

Pitchfork Hipster 

The Pitchfork Hipster is usually a male around 16-20 years of age who relies solely on Pitchfork Media for music news. Any review garnering high scores on the web site is an instant new favorite, and vice versa. The Pitchfork Hipster usually has no conception of music criticism or taste, and relies on the opinions of a vaguely defined "expert" to guide them to music they "like."
Ironically, the Pitchfork Hipster usually employs an elitist attitude towards other music listeners, assuming that knowledge of the "largest indie music website on the internet" gives them free reign to deride the music listening habits of others.

Anthony is a wanna-be Pitchfork Hipster. All his recently acquired music is rated highly by Pitchfork. He feigns a wide-reaching musical barometer, despite the fact that he has no conception of the genre, techniques, style, or history of any independent musical group.

Pitchfork Hipster by CouldBAnyone December 6, 2006

Pitchfork 

Christians have the Bible.
Jews have the Torah.
Muslims have the Koran.

Hipsters who are between the ages of 20-30 and claim to live in Williamsburg (but who really still live with their mom in Queens) have Pitchfork Media.

Normal guy: Hey, let's go try that restaurant in Tribeca.
Hipster: I only want to go if it received an 8.0 or higher on Pitchfork.

Pitchfork by steaksalad101 July 28, 2009