pitchforked 

When you're invited to a friend's house for under false pretenses of "tea and jam", but when you get there, you're friend starts breaking out the porn, proceeding to get their "freak on", and encouraging you to do the same.

Ingrid: How'd lunch go at Sam's.
Ella: I was pitchforked. I don't want to talk about it.

pitchforked by p@$$ing thr.ugh February 27, 2010

Randy Pitchford 

A low-life, lying scumbag who cannot take criticism. A person who is referred to as Randy Pitchford is someone who will shift blame onto others, and never take any level of personal responsibility. Also often obsessed with magic.

I really fucking hate Jake. He’s a real Randy Pitchford

Randy Pitchford by ConradMurray__ April 10, 2019

torch and pitchfork crowd 

A group of angry or vocal opponents who regularly come out against something, usually prognosticating dire consequences.

Last Saturday's city council meeting was attended by the usual torch and pitchfork crowd, demanding retractions and threatening immediate action;

torch and pitchfork crowd by Euripedes October 8, 2008

Pasadena Pitchfork 

Highly skilled maneuver that involves a man double fisting a woman while simultaneously receiving fellatio and taking a shit on the toilet.

I accidentally walked in on Darrel giving a Pasadena Pitchfork at grandma's house last week.

Pasadena Pitchfork by Van Jermaine October 11, 2016

Pitchfork Hipster 

The Pitchfork Hipster is usually a male around 16-20 years of age who relies solely on Pitchfork Media for music news. Any review garnering high scores on the web site is an instant new favorite, and vice versa. The Pitchfork Hipster usually has no conception of music criticism or taste, and relies on the opinions of a vaguely defined "expert" to guide them to music they "like."
Ironically, the Pitchfork Hipster usually employs an elitist attitude towards other music listeners, assuming that knowledge of the "largest indie music website on the internet" gives them free reign to deride the music listening habits of others.

Anthony is a wanna-be Pitchfork Hipster. All his recently acquired music is rated highly by Pitchfork. He feigns a wide-reaching musical barometer, despite the fact that he has no conception of the genre, techniques, style, or history of any independent musical group.

Pitchfork Hipster by CouldBAnyone December 6, 2006

Pitchfork 

Christians have the Bible.
Jews have the Torah.
Muslims have the Koran.

Hipsters who are between the ages of 20-30 and claim to live in Williamsburg (but who really still live with their mom in Queens) have Pitchfork Media.

Normal guy: Hey, let's go try that restaurant in Tribeca.
Hipster: I only want to go if it received an 8.0 or higher on Pitchfork.

Pitchfork by steaksalad101 July 28, 2009

pitchfork 

Also known as Pitchfork Media. A pretentious, elitist, hype-mongering, trend-obsessed piece of shit website that specializes in "independent music".

Known for giving gushing reviews to anything that sounds remotely obscure. Even if the music itself actually sucks. No, wait, ESPECIALLY if the music itself actually sucks.

Too bad it only exists in online format or else I'd wipe my ass with their sorry excuses for reviews.

Also, all too appropriately, every hipster's holy grail.

HIPSTER: Hey did you see Pitchfork's review of the new animal collective? It got a 9.6, so it's obviously one of the quintessential albums of the decade.

MUSIC FAN: I think I'd rather listen to Tool's "Lateralus"

HIPSTER: Psshh, lame!! pitchfork only gave that album a 1.9. Tool obviously sucks to anyone with taste in music

MUSIC FAN: Riight. But you obviously have amazing taste since you base your opinions entirely off of Pitchfork's numerical rating system. Way to go douche bag.

pitchfork by EonBlue987 August 8, 2009