A widespread and mind-numbing writing appliance used by uncreative
teachers and schools to
spread dissatisfaction with writing among their students. Though "creative" five-paragraph essays have been written, the form is generally mandated by dull minds to make writing and thinking dull.
All five-paragraph essays begin with an introduction ("tell 'em what you'
re gonna tell 'em!") followed by three body paragraphs ("tell 'em!") and a frighteningly repetetive conclusion ("tell 'em what you told 'em!").