A widespread and mind-numbing writing appliance used by uncreative teachers and schools to
spread dissatisfaction with writing among their students. Though "creative"
five-paragraph essays have been written, the form is generally mandated by dull minds to make writing and thinking dull.
All
five-paragraph essays begin with an introduction ("tell 'em what you'
re gonna tell 'em!") followed by three body paragraphs ("tell 'em!") and a frighteningly repetetive conclusion ("tell 'em what you told 'em!").
My teacher is making me write a
five-paragraph
essay on why I shouldn't think for myself and write creatively in school, but it's like way too
boring.