spenceronehalf's definitions

waterboarding

One of the many forms of terrorism (in the form of torture) used by the US military in the "service" of putting an end to terrorism. Waterboarding (called "water torture" in the 16th century and used to test the witchiness of witches) involves holding a person down, covering their face with fabric, then pouring water on the fabric. The wet fabric makes it impossible to breath and the person feel as if they are about to drown, thus freaking them out to the extent that they will do just about anything to avoid more torture.

The CIA and US military use waterboarding to promote democracy worldwide.

by spenceronehalf December 28, 2005

slackadelic

Those attributes most commonly associated with slackers, such as sketch clothing, joblessness, being generally chill, and having a hardcore dedication to hanging out on the couch.

Every since Meriam dropped out of that noisy rock-n-roll band, I fear that our daughter has become ... has become ... positivey slackadelic!

by spenceronehalf December 28, 2005

permacast

Perpetual gray skies, as those found in the Pacific Northwest, most notably Portland.

"By February, months of permacast had me needing to get out of Portland and find some sun."

by spenceronehalf November 17, 2005

five-paragraph essay

A widespread and mind-numbing writing appliance used by uncreative teachers and schools to spread dissatisfaction with writing among their students. Though "creative" five-paragraph essays have been written, the form is generally mandated by dull minds to make writing and thinking dull.

All five-paragraph essays begin with an introduction ("tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em!") followed by three body paragraphs ("tell 'em!") and a frighteningly repetetive conclusion ("tell 'em what you told 'em!").

My teacher is making me write a five-paragraph essay on why I shouldn't think for myself and write creatively in school, but it's like way too boring.

by spenceronehalf December 15, 2005

fembot

A girl or woman who, unfortunately, finds herself oversubscribed to dominant views of beauty and femininity.

Dude, your new step-mom is such a fembot. I mean, aside from the plastic surgery, dye job, and falsies, I don't know what your Dad sees in her.

by spenceronehalf December 21, 2005

metrospiritualism

A worldview combining watered-down adherence to Eastern and/or new-age spirituality and full-on consumerism. Anyone who thinks buying an electric car is a forward-thinking solution to life's problems is a metrospiritualist.

"I don't care how much my yoga classes cost, they bring me closer to peace," said the adherent to metrospiritualism.

by spenceronehalf October 10, 2006

yackademic

anything affiliated with academia that makes you want to hurl

Meaningless busy work is, you know, yackademic.

The article we had to read made no sense. It was yackademic.

by spenceronehalf November 2, 2006