10 definition by spenceronehalf

One of the many forms of terrorism (in the form of torture) used by the US military in the "service" of putting an end to terrorism. Waterboarding (called "water torture" in the 16th century and used to test the witchiness of witches) involves holding a person down, covering their face with fabric, then pouring water on the fabric. The wet fabric makes it impossible to breath and the person feel as if they are about to drown, thus freaking them out to the extent that they will do just about anything to avoid more torture.

A widespread and mind-numbing writing appliance used by uncreative teachers and schools to spread dissatisfaction with writing among their students. Though "creative" five-paragraph essays have been written, the form is generally mandated by dull minds to make writing and thinking dull.

All five-paragraph essays begin with an introduction ("tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em!") followed by three body paragraphs ("tell 'em!") and a frighteningly repetetive conclusion ("tell 'em what you told 'em!").

To mess up, but not in a big way.

Those attributes most commonly associated with slackers, such as sketch clothing, joblessness, being generally chill, and having a hardcore dedication to hanging out on the couch.

Expressive of serious magnitude. No triffle, mind you.

A worldview combining watered-down adherence to Eastern and/or new-age spirituality and full-on consumerism. Anyone who thinks buying an electric car is a forward-thinking solution to life's problems is a metrospiritualist.

A handheld electronic device thought to keep one's life in order but generally found to be an annoyance to others and self. Short for "Palm Pilot."