P.E.T.'s (Performance Enhanced Titties) 

When a female surgically augments her breasts; improving size and mate-ability. Much like P.E.D.'s (Performance Enhancing Drugs), which have the ability to raise a mediocre minor league baseball player's batting average to that of Barry Bonds (P.E.D. poster child), P.E.T.'s (Performance Enhanced Titties) do the same thing for chicks. You can hear the slow clap in the background --> turning "soft 7's" into "hard 8's".

Hey did you see Jennifer yesterday?

Yeah, from 2 Advil on an ironing board to a dead heat in a zeppelin race.

I'm suspicious of P.E.T.'s (Performance Enhanced Titties).

Suspicious, but thankful.

P.E.T.'s (Performance Enhanced Titties) by IfICanFeelEmThey'reRealsies June 1, 2013