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Optometrist 

My dream job. All the optometrists I know are badasses that look at eyes all day. They improve people's vision on the daily, prescribe glasses and contacts, look at the back of the eye and detect illnesses from retinal detachments to Diabetes to brain tumors. They pick the most long-lasting, least invasive medical treatments first and only refer for surgery if necessary. I have a great optometrist. He pretty much saved my life.

Optometrists make really good money and have the lowest divorce rate of all occupations. I'd become one if it didn't take 8+ years of school and only about 1 in 8 applicants are accepted into the 22 US schools :/
"Hey man, I thought you had a lazy eye?"

"Got 'er fixed by the optometrist. It's never coming back. He was pretty hot, too."
Optometrist by jaysway August 27, 2013

Optometrist Suprise 

While your parnter is sleeping, jizz in her eyes, so when she wakes up, she cannot see.
Mary: "Why do you keep bumping into things Jen?"

Jen: "Because John gave me the optometrist surprise last night."

Taking old one eye to the optometrist 

The "act"...fucking, getting business done.
I had a wild night with Linda...I was taking old one eye to the optometrist when Mom walked in on us.

optometrist 

A person that chose, unbelievably, not to go to school until they are 35 in order to work as a doctor. Along with this, they must deal with ignorant dumbasses that think they have no medical training, even though many schools teach the exact same classes to both. Upon graduation, these people will usually work privately, and get to be their own boss eventually. Some will work in chain stores, but take out really solid cash.
So are you an opthalmologist?

Shit no. I'm not an egotistical asshat, and with the 6 practices I own while those douches slave for their HMO I make more money than one anyway.I'm an optometrist, not a boring self-important hospital company knob polisher.
optometrist by ThePunisher7755 August 13, 2010

optometrist 

A dentist that deals with everything related to the eye instead of teeth. Hated by his technicians and assistants as they couldn't achieve the level of education he has. Ophthalmologist hate him too as they are shocked that he could almost do everything they do except that he didn't have to go through five years of medical training.
Natasha: I have an eye infection, should I go to an the Optometrist or Ophthalmologist?
Sara: Don't go to that old Ophthalmologist except if you need surgery .
optometrist by Lionofthedesert June 25, 2016

Optometrist 

Doctors (OD) that evaluate and treat the health of the eye and visual system by the use of eyeglasses, contact lenses, and other functional, optical, surgical, and pharmaceutical means as regulated by state law.
My optometrist gave me a prescription because I had pink eye.
Optometrist by Bigboythe 43 April 6, 2006
More from Urban Dictionary

fauxstalgia 

Faux nostalgia. Faking old things in an attempt to recapture the feeling of times gone past, especially of technology that has passed.
Hipstamatic pictures, just like the vinyl-static added to digital recordings, is prime fauxstalgia
fauxstalgia by scotte61 December 16, 2010
Word of the Day on October 15, 2026

pajama casual 

Pajama casual is a term used when working from home and preparing for a video conference. All business above the waist and your pajama pants down below.
We have a Zoom meeting in a few minutes and I’ll probably go pajama casual.
pajama casual by jrod-knows March 31, 2020
Word of the Day on October 14, 2026

funflation 

The recent boom in consumer spending on entertainment and experiences with a high demand running up the cost of enjoying of those experiences.
I’m trying to go to this Taylor Swift concert but the funflation has made it so impossible for me to afford tickets.
funflation by Dfree523 November 17, 2023
Word of the Day on October 13, 2026
A US deep south term for an alligator. Usually used in the Cajun dialect.
Take the big pirogue, I saw a huge swamp dog out there earlier.
swamp dog by Crystal Ambrose May 22, 2006
Word of the Day on October 12, 2026

Throat Sweats 

The feeling and build up in your mouth/throat of saliva that sometimes accompanies nausea.
Oh man those burritos gave me the throat sweats, I hope I don’t have food poisoning.
Throat Sweats by TacoFings420 April 23, 2024
Word of the Day on October 11, 2026
Being ignored by someone when making a statement or asking a question. Also known as blanked and turfed.
Person 1: Did u watch ** last nite?
Person 2:......
Person 3: O no u got aired!
aired by Pietro February 9, 2005
Word of the Day on October 10, 2026
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