Opti-pess 

An Opti-pess is someone who always assumes the worst is going to happen so that they’ll be pleasantly surprised when the worst doesn’t happen. Or if the worst case scenario does occur they are prepared to deal with it/have the satisfaction of knowing they were right.

Basically a pessimistic optimist or an optimistic pessimist

Friend: I’m worried about you. You only focus on the negative things and assume the worst of everyone and everything

Me: Oh! Don’t worry about me! I’m an opti-pess, I’ll be fine !

Opti-pess by The Dermartologist July 28, 2022

Optipessimist 

One whom gives a non-philosophical answer to a philosophical answer, providing both the optimistic and pessimistic points of view.

Question: Is the glass half-full or half-empty?
Answer: The glass's orientation between the level of contents and the height of the glass and the definition of which you describe said content/height ratio is relative to the previous action unto which the glass arived at it's current orientation.

The answer was given by an optipessimist.

Optipessimist by Chrisazy February 19, 2009

Optipessimist 

Seeing the glass as half-full...of backwash.

Robin thinks President Obama's new Jobs Act will create millions of new jobs. Millions of unnecessary, temporary jobs that will cost the rest of us billions of dollars we don't have. She's a true optipessimist!

Optipessimist by TomSlick September 19, 2011