A high school located in West St. Louis County’s white,
SUV-ridden suburbs where the diversity is bused in and the futility of the No
Child Left Behind Act is demonstrated daily. The
science department generally suffers from a lack of hair and an overabundance of anecdotes and fishing stories, while the top-notch English department continues to produce an abundance of teen angst poets and self-centered essayists. The school’s motto “Head North for Excellence” is not a joke: head two counties north to Pattonville and you
will get an excellent education.
Freshie: They give us free t-shirts with motivational messages at Parkway North? Cool!
Senior: Not so fast—you have to have a 3.
5 GPA to get that…
Freshie: A 3.
5? But the only way I couldn’t get that here is if I skipped class daily, smoked pot in the parking lot, stuffed a dead
fish into the air vent in the library, and tried to cheat using the wrong answer key on a
test…
Senior: You’ll get there…