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no johns

"No johns" means that you can't make excuses. It is the perfect counter argument to anyone who is making any type of excuse whatever. When someone makes excuses or tries to make excuses, they are "johning". If this occurs, tell them "NO JOHHNZZ".
Me: "Dude, I just 4 stocked your Marth with my Pikachu.

n00b: "Yeah, but Marth isn't my main character."

Me (as well as crowd): "NO JOHHNZZ SON"
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No Johns

"That was definitely East Coast DI."
~ Commentator (East Coast)

"What's wrong with our DI?"
~ Mango (West Coast)

"Your DI is horrible. Trust me. Your DI causes you to die."

"Our DI rapes. We like to have fun, so we let let each other combo each other. That's how it works. We're not super-serious like you guys."

"Alright. In the East Coast, we got this saying called 'No Johns'."

Revival of Melee 1 Crew Battle Commentary
by OnionChild December 26, 2012
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Please no johns

When someone was making excuses to win an argument or an excuse to win an argument, say please no johns.
Person one: If my neutral air actually connected I would've wo-

Reggie: please no johns.
by 9dohead October 7, 2020
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Please no johns

It is something to say if someone is making excuses to win an argument or the reason they lost a game.
Person one: Zero suit up b kill's bowser at 70?!!

Reggie: Please no johns.
by 9dohead October 7, 2020
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No Jhons

"Dude you only won because you used Cloud"

"No jhons cuck"
by Rootnewah January 30, 2017
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No John's

A term used by pussies who deny humility or loss with sad and pathetic excuses. Typically associated with the smash bros melee community.
Before we started the match I told my opponent no john's. So that when I win he won't deny defeat.
by Filthy Internet dweller August 9, 2018
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No Condom John

A man who has multiple baby mommas from sleeping around, has 6 kids, early 30s Male.
" There goes no condom John and his basketball team."
by John Micsott March 25, 2019
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