An entitled trust fund douche bag with a small penis. Enjoys cheap tequila, acting tough and sucker punching waitstaff before becoming well aquatinted with a choke hold from Henry Rollins’ cheerier personality.
Doesn’t learn his lesson and uses daddies money to Streisand effect his actions across the internet.
A man from Ligonier, Pennsylvania who is the only known living human to have been fathered by a Chupacabra.
His mother became pregnant when she was raped by a pack of wild Chupacabra's while vacationing in Mexico. During this encounter, the snorts, shrieks and screams could be heard echoing for miles.
Michael Vernon Townley (born December 5, 1942) is a former agent of the Dirección de Inteligencia Nacional currently living under terms of the US federal witness protection program. An operative of the Chilean secret police, Townley confessed, was convicted, and served 62 months in prison in the United States for the 1976 Washington, D.C., assassination of Orlando Letelier, former Chilean ambassador to the United States. As part of his plea bargain, Townley received immunity from further prosecution; he was not extradited to Argentina to stand trial for the 1974 assassination of Chilean general Carlos Prats and his wife.