Maury Hancock 

Maury is head of the Theatre Department and of the Honor Council at St. Catherine's School. He is well known for his mad directing and technical skills, uninhibited conversation, house in France, and messy office. Maury is one of few faculty members at St. Catherine's who actually possess intelligence and common sense. He affectionately refers to his wife as "La Princesse" and is a devoted pirate. Can be found at McVey theatre when his schedule permits, or brooding on the grounds with his Hagrid-like coat and wide-brimmed hat. Favorite earrings include a scull and crossbones and a bicycle chain link. He enjoys crossword puzzles, gourmet coffees and teas, esoteric movies, and his futuristic, computer-like cell phone. One can spot him by his unusual laughter.
Favorite phrases: "You're fired!" and <Insert nickname of the month here>, which include:
bumblebee
hummingbird
angel of the morning
sunshine
BAAAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAAS!
The Ozzie
The Wankers
Nicola
etc...

Often accompanied by Todd the Child Molester or Bob the Genderless One.

Techie 1: How do we do this? I'm so confused.
Techie 2: Ask Maury, he'll know.
Techie 1: Yeah, but we still won't.

Actor 1: Should I move there?
Maury: Well, what do you think?

Boarder 1: So my curfew's twelve, right?
Maury: No.
Boarder 1: What if I had parent permission? Just for tonight?
Maury: How about your parents call the police, and have them call me. Then you can stay out til twelve.

Day Student 1: Have you seen Maury?
Day Student 2: Yeah, he's so creepy!

Maury Hancock by Miriam and BAAAAAZZZ! January 22, 2005