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Masterbasting 

When you come back to the family's house for Thanksgiving and you leave your vibrator at home. Grab that turkey baster and go to TOWN!
Holy S**t! Masterbasting with this turkey gravy is drivin' me crazyyyy!
Masterbasting by Guyfromdc November 23, 2016

Masterbasting

Sweating profusely under blankets where you wake up soaked due to trapped sweat in fabric.
I lost 10 pounds masterbasting last night to work dreams of me and my supervisor.
Masterbasting by chuckg March 25, 2026

Maskerbating 

Wearing a mask while completely alone
Before I even realized it, I was maskerbating in my car yesterday!
Maskerbating by Photoist July 28, 2020

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.
i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating

I'm masturbating.
masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.
Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.