Lead Pipe

In the deprived housing estates of the U.K. some Local Councils/Housing Associations are yet to upgrade the old lead water pipes to copper. (Lead Water Pipes = Lead Poisoning = Brain Damage).

Dave looks slightly retarded and struggles to find a job because he is a "Lead Pipe".

by Clever-Shit February 1, 2017

Lead Pipe

An act in where a man sticks a piece of lead from a mechanical pencil into his urethra and has sex with a women or grapefruit, whichever comes first.

I was sitting at home and thought my pineapple deserved a lead pipe so I warmed the pineapple in a 350 degree oven for ten minutes and then poured Siracha hot sauce over it to counteract the lead poison stinging with hot sauce stinging.

by Ectoplasm_Randy December 23, 2017

lead pipe massage

1)savage physical beating

2)verbal beating, scourned, read her/him the "riot act"

1)he/she got the lead pipe massage while he was walking home from work last night.

2)he/she got the lead pipe massage for being late for the meeting.

by WstLwnG March 3, 2009

lead-pipe cinch

In American slang this phrase means a dead certainty.

Homer: I have 50 bucks riding on this game.
Marge: Homer, you promised me!
Homer: This isn't gambling Marge. It's lead-pipe cinch.

by Jara Dosek December 29, 2006

Lead pipe deal

A lead pipe deal is a deal that is so good that there is no way the agreement came around consensually; the person would have never parted with the item that is the subject matter of the transaction without you having used force

"You got that 2017 BMW for $ 5,000 ?" "Yeah, dude--isn't that a great deal?" "Yeah, man--that's a lead pipe deal."

by Campbellcamel August 26, 2017

lead pipe lock

a guarantee; a definite outcome

My bookie says (insert team) is a lead pipe lock to win.

by J&L February 14, 2008

Lead Pipe Feeling

Emotion experienced when you are watching someone do or say something that is so awkward and embarassing, that you not only feel embarassed for them, but want to hit them with a lead pipe to make it stop.

Watching Anna Nicole Smith - both the show and her life - will illicit strong "lead pipe feelings."

You're in a bar, and your friend walks up to a girl he's been eyeing all night. You watch from afar as he forgets how to construct meaningful sentences, and procedes to explain his duties as "Head Dungeon Master."

by Destructo Hero November 20, 2005