Laser Herpes 

A highly contagious STD which is located amongst the pubic hairs and genitalia. Like normal herpes it grows into sores. However, when the affected areas fully germinate, the disease then mounts laser turrets upon the sores. These turrets shoot lasers with high accuracy and range, which upon contact with target spread the Laser Herpes to the genitalia and repeat the process. Little is known about the origin of said affliction, but to avoid contraction it is suggested to wear lead underwear, as it is the only substance the lasers cannot penetrate.

It is very painful, and irritating.

That dude's got laser herpes all up in his junk.

Laser Herpes by LuqMawn September 25, 2010